FROM THE WATCH TOWER

Sun (Auckland), Volume II, Issue 580, 5 February 1929, Page 8

FROM THE WATCH TOWER

By

"THE LOOK-OUT MAN."

TAILS AND HEELS "I never liked our tail. It is an Achilles heel. Otherwise the English team is a great combination."—Mr. “Plum” Warner, writing in the "Morning Post.” My dear censorious veteran. You whacked the ball when in you. prime. But now your metaphor, alas , Is subject for a lagging rime. High writing, “Plum” is difficult. The stuff that’s simple is The best, And metaphors are never mixed, Not even for a cricket test. You’d teach the scribes to clip a six Or snick shots neatly through the slips — But they could teach you, dear P.F. That metaphors should never mix. But quite apart from grammar rules. The tail you so arraign must feel That there is merit in the stunt Of changing to a hero’s heel. ANOTHER LEADER MAY GO It is reported from Moscow that an attempt is to be made to depose M. Bucharin, the president of the Communist International. Has Russia been reading of the machinations of the Salvation Army High Council? » • * THE CIVILISED STATES The International Postal Congress which is to be opened in London in May will be attended by representatives of practically every civilised State; that is the States which found it necessary to sign the Kellogg Peace Pact. MAN AND MAKO Mr. Zane Grey is making a special attempt to secure a monster rnako shark which has been seen off Whale Island. The news story will come when a mako makes a special effort to secure Mr. Zane Grey. * * * TUVALU 1H AGREEMENT The Prime Minister. Sir Joseph Ward, in a speech at Wellington yesterday, said this year was going to bring remarkable prosperity to every section of the community. It would not be just to charge Sir Joseph with stealing the thunder of Mr. Coates, nevertheless, he does seem to have heard something of that “We’ve turned the corner” phrase.

THE ‘'BIRD'' FOR BEN ITO During the screening at Melbourne of a “talkie” film featuring Mussolini. Italians in the audience called out offensive remarks. With the great Benito 10,000 miles away, they seemed to be possessed by a critical bravery not shared by their compatriots at home. If he does any more film work, 11 Duce must arrange to introduce a series of admonitory scowls which should have the effect of checking similar outbreaks. THAT MOVIE KL&H If the "talkies” ever completely supersede the present type of film, one of the major problems confronting the producer will be the management of intense love scenes. As things are now, the method is simple.. There are tender preliminaries and, finally, when the lady’s reserve is broken down, the caption writer writes no more, and the principals are left to consume soul, and a large portion of face, in one of those carnivorous movie kisses. These love carnivals will not be nossible when Sir Ardent has to use words to explain his feelings to Lady Complaisant. If passion Is not modified, there will be some fine nights of sniggering in picture theatres when these spoken love passages occur.

BIRKENHEAD ANSWERS BACK Lord Birkenhead, who has now left polities for richer business fields in London, has the reputation of being one of the few barristers who answered back to judges. When, as Mr. F. E. Smith, K.C., he was once appearing in a county court for the owners of a bus that had injured a man seriously, the plaintiff’s counsel won the sympathy of the judge, who suggested that the injured man could take a seat where the jury could see him. “Perhaps,” said “F.E.,” “it would be better if he were passed round for inspection.” “Mr. Smith,” retorted the judge, “you remind me of a quotation from the great Bacon: ‘Youth and discretion are ill-wedded companions.’ ” “That’s curious,” replied Mr. Smith. “You, too, remind me of a quotation from the great Bacon: ‘A too-talkative judge is like an ill-tuned cymbal.’ ”