THE WITCH OF BREE

Sun (Auckland), Volume II, Issue 572, 26 January 1929, Page 31

THE WITCH OF BREE

And the Queen who could not Laugh

“The Queen is the most tiresome woman in the world.'* said the King of Bree. « “Yes. Your Majesty,” agreed the Lord Chamberlain. “What did you say?” thundered the King. “How dare you insult her Majesty.” “I said ‘No’ Your Majesty.” libbed the Lord Chamberlain. “Well, then, how dare you contraI diet me,” replied the King. As the Lord Chancellor knew from long experience that it was impossible to please the King, he said nothing, and the King continued: “We’ve been married for five years, and not once during that time lias the Queen been known to laugh. I’ve tried everything I can think of to amuse her. We’ve had Court Jester after Court Jester here, and- not once has’ she even smiled. I've told her every funny story that 1 have ever known, but still she looks at me quite gravely. I’m absolutely tired of having her glum face always before me, and unless you can do something to make her laugh before this week has passed you can leave the Palace.” With these words, the King strode out of the room and the poor Lord Chamberlain sat down at a table and buried his face in his hands. What was he to do? Lord Chamberlain’s jobs are very few and far between, and her certainly didn't want to lost his position. How* could he possibly make the Queen laugh when everything else had failed? Suddenly a brilliant idea came to him. What about Old Mary, the Witch of Bree. If there was anyone to help him it was she. Once, long ago, when ho was a young man, the Lord Chamberlain had done a great service for the Witch of Bree, and she told him that if ever he was in trouble ho was to come to her. So the Lord Chamberlain made up his mind to slip away that night and ask the Witch’s advice. , When all had retired to their rooms | the Lord Chamberlain stole from the Palace and hurried through the garI dens. The Witch lived several miles j from the Palace, and the poor Lord Chamberlain was very tired by the time he reached her cottage at the foot of Bree Mountains. At first he was afraid that he had made the journey for nothing, because, although he banged on the door and called out quite loudly, he was unable to get any reply for quite a long while. But at last one of the upper windows was opened and an old woman, with a lined face and dark straggly hair, leaned out. “Fancy disturbing a body at this time of night,” she shrieked. "Go awav at once.” “It's me/’ said the Lord Chamberlain, being much too tired and afraid of her to think about his grammar. “Oh, it’s you, is it?” said Old Mary. “And what do you want, may I ask?" “I want you to help me, if you will; l am in great trouble.” “In great trouble, are you?” said the Witch. “Then I'd better come down and hear about it; wait a minute.” She disappeared from the window and in a little while she opened the MRS. SPIDER Mrs. Spider was crying as if her heart would break when Mr. Beetle passed by. So he puffed up the steps to see what was the matter. “Oh, Mr. Beetle,” cried Mrs. Spider, “everybody in Fairyland buys their hats at Madame Dragon-Fly’s now and they never even look in my window!” “Dear me, that’s bad,” said Mj*. Beetle kindly. “But you know, my dear, I noticed as I passed Madame Dragon-Fly's shop that it was as spick and span as could be, and yours—well, it does want tidying, doesn’t it? Now you just make your shop look as nice, as you can, and I’ll go and see what I can do.” And off he bustled. Scarcely had Mrs. Spider put the last hat into the window and given the shop a final dusting when a carriage drew up outside her shop and out hopped Mr. Beetle. But that wasn’t all. Someone else got out too, and that someone else was the Fairy Queen, who is always ready to help anyone in trouble. Of course, as soon as the news spread that the Fairy Queen was buying her hats at Mrs. Spider’s, they all wanted to buy theirs there as well, until she had no hats left to sell. Now you will find on Mrs. Spider’s window in gold letters, “Patronised by Her Majesty, The Queen of Fairyland”; but, better still, you will find that her shop is aßvays just as spick and span as can be. GENEROUS | Mother: “But. Bobby, I told you to I give Mary half that orange and you | have eaten it all yourself.” | Bobby (with dignity): “I have given i her the pips. She can plant those and have a whole orange grove!” TWO SEASONS Teacher; “How many .* asons are there in the year. William?” William: “Two, miss;—the strawberry and the apple season.”

| door ami iht Lord riumberlain ! followed her into the collate. ’I daresay you've heard.” lie said, “that Iler Majesty has never been j known to laugh. Nothing that anyone has tried will bring even a smile to her face. The King says that he can- | not bear her glum looks any longer J and that if I can’t find some means j of making her laugh within a week 1 must leave the Palace.” "Do you know why the Queen never laughs?” asked the Witch. "No.” answered the Lord Ch amber- ’ lain. “Do you?” j “Of course I do.” replied Old Mary. "The fact of the matter is that tho Queen hasn’t got a Funny Bone, and because of that she can’t laugh.” “Then it’s quite impossible for me to do anything.” sighed the Lord Chamberlain. “Not as impossible as you think.’* answered the Witch. "I can mix a magic potion which will give a person without a Funny Bone the power to laugh: and if you will wait here i will get it ready for you.” Before lie had time to thank her “properly the Witch had gone out of the room. She soon returned, bringing with her a small phial which she handed to tho Lord Chamberlain. “Here it is,” she said. “How can you manage to make the Queen drink it?” “To-morrow night the King gives a singing performance. There is always a dinner beforehand and I’ll try to drop the liquid into the Queen’s I glass then, that will do?” 1 “Excellently,” said the Witch. ”1 ! wish you the best of luck.” “Thank you a thousand times,” said the Lord Chamberlain. “Good-bye.’ (Now, I don’t suppose that you'vn ever heard of the King of Brec’s Singing Performance, so I'd better tell you about it. Unfortunately the King thought that he could sing, and very often he forced his courtiers to listen to him. The King’s voice was really terrible and the people of the court had always to struggle with the desir*to laugh at him. Many of them said that they managed to control their laughter only by watching the Quoen's serious face. She tlidnjt seem to find the King’s singing a scrap funny.) Tho Lord Chamberlain did manage to put the potion into the Queen’s glass at dinner-time, and he eagerly waited to hear her laugh—but she didn’t. Then they all assembled in the big concert hall; the court musicians took their places, and the King started to sing. His voice was first high and then low. then it cracked and then it wavered. But he only got half-way through his first song. The Queen had started to laugh! yhe laughed until the tears ran down her cheeks and the ladies in waiting had to lead her from the hall. “What a \-e-r-y f-u-n-n-y voice the King has got.” she chuckled. Although the King was very cross indeed because the Queen had spoilt his song he couldn’t help feeling verypleased with himself because lie thought he had succeeded in making her laugh. And so the Lord Chamberlain wasn’t dismissed from the court; the Queen now laughs as often as anyone else —but the King doesn’t sing any more! BEANS There was a man who lived on beam;, He feared to live b€:yond his means; So he kept a garden where beans wen many. And hoped to save him a right good So many beans in his garden grew That he lived on beans the whole yea/through. In spring he ale them young and tender. Juicy and sweet as his skill could render. In summer he found them a trifle harder. But gathered in stores for his winter lardcr. In autumn he found them so dry to his taste That ho cooked them down to a rich bean paste. And when Winter storm, did howl and whoop, lie boiled his beans to a fine hot soup. So he lived and dined on beans right gaily. But the poor old thing grew smaller j daily. j And smaller —and rounder —and strangely lean. Till, one fine day—lie became a bean’ A PARTY GAME No party incomplete without a ujumca.l game, and generally you play j cal chairs —or musical arms. Why not i make a change at the next party and j play musical handkerchief ? It’s really ! exciting. All the chairs are placed In a circle as for musical chairs, and the same [number of players as chairs start goling round as the music plays. Now under one of the chairs a handkerchief is placed. One of the grown-upe; places it while you all have your faces turned away. Well, when the music stops, you .ill sit down on chairs, but the piayer j who happens to sit on the* chair with ! the handkerchief beneath has* to fall out of the game and take his chair with him. The last player left in tligame, of course, wins