ON LIFE

Sun (Auckland), Volume II, Issue 564, 17 January 1929, Page 12

ON LIFE

BRITISH PEER’S WITTY SAYINGS DEWAR AND MARRIAGE Lord Dewar, a bachelor and one of the industrial leaders of England, is well known in the British Isles for his humorous and witty remarks on life and marriage. He recently gave to the “Evening News,” London, some of his favourite sayings. They are reproduced below; Life is made up of trials, with an occasional conviction. To some mothers life is just one darn stocking after another. Every man has a black and white side of life. Most men are believers in heredity, until the son makes a fool of himself. Man reaps what he sows, unless he be an amateur gardener. Four-fifths of the perjury of the world is expended on tombstones. A laugh is as necessary to a human being as sunshine to a cabbage. Providence never intended us to be equal, except when we are asleep. No man is so good but a good woman can make him better. A golden wedding is when a couple have gone fifty-fifty. Marriage is a great institution —for those who like institutions. Many a bachelorship has been wrecked on a permanent wave. Marriage is a committee of two — with power to add to their numbers. There are more Mormons in London than in Salt Lake City, but their wives don’t know it. A husband should tell his wife everything he is sure she will find out, and before any one else does. A philosopher is a man who tan look at any empty glass with a smile. If husbands went everywhere their wives told them to go, there would be fewer divorces but more widows Divorce is a great institution; it keeps women in circulation. It is much better to have a few hundreds in the bank than millions on the brain. No gentleman has ever heard your story before. | To achieve disarmament build ba f * I tleships by public subscription. A man’s reputation is that wfcicli I is not found out about him. It seems to me that woman’s plar p is no longer in the home; it is in the Channel. A man who hides behind a woman s skirts to-day is not a coward; he is a magician. When a man says his word is as good as his bond—get his bond. We have been told that man is the noblest work of God, but nobody ever said so except man. | Optimism makes a man of 95 buy ' a new suit of clothes and two pairs I of trousers. | It is a wise wife who laughs at her husband’s jokes. Judge not a man by his clothes, but by his wife’s clothes. Poets are born, not paid. The road to success is filled with i women pushing their husbands alon.~. It is not so much what a man stands i for as what he falls -for. There are no idle rich; they :.r% | dodging people who want it*** | money. * Motor-cars are increasing by leap® and bounds. Pedestrians are sum'* ing by the same process. A kangaroo is just an abortive attempt by nature to make a safe pedestrian. “Adam’s rib.” a small part tha has developed into a loud speaker. The one thing that hurts more th<>-* paying income-tax is not having pay income tax. . Finally Lord Dewar gives us a bU verse about the codfish and the hen. The codfish lays a million eggs, an the helpful her lays one; The codfish never cackles to tel what she’s done;. And so we scorn the codfish. the helpful hen we prize. For it indicates to you and uie it pays to advertise!