Heart and Home Chats

Sun (Auckland), Volume II, Issue 558, 10 January 1929, Page 5

Heart and Home Chats

By

Anut Repledge

Miss Anne Rutledge will answer letters in this column every Thursday. An accomplished writer, an ardent feminist, a student of human nature and a wide traveller she is well fitted for the task. Those vho have problems and tack a confidante to help in their solution may, with confidence, write to Miss Rutledge, whose knowledge will be placed at their disposal. A sympathetic woman, she will assist those who stand in need of assistance. Communications for Mis 3 Rutledge should be addressed to THE SUy office. dwarfs her husband Dear Miss Rutledge,— I am a fairly big woman and my husband is short and very thin, and consequently inclined to be a bit sensitive about his size, especially now that I tind myself growing too plump. Although the most devoted of husbands. I know that he has a positive dislike of appearing insignificant beside me, and I wonder what on earth I can do to get back to my normal weight, and not grow any larger. Do you advise me to diet? G.D. ANSWER. It might be a good idea for you to balance your diet properly. According to health authorities, this is the secret of ensuring a healthy body and a normal weight. Starvation, as numbers of women have proved to their sorrow, all over the world, is responsible for much ill-health and suffering. Remember that a well-balanced diet should contain about SO per cent, carbo-hydrates, from 10 to 15 per cent, protein, 25 to SO per cent. fat. Carbo-hydrates, giving us healthful energy, are found in starches, sugar and some vegetables. Protein, a body builder, is found in both meat and vegetables. Fat, producing both heat and energy, is found in oils, meats, etc. Vitamines, so important to health, are found in fruits, vegetables, milk, butter and fresh meats. Go in for plenty of exercise but be systematic, and not easily discouraged. Have a set time and use plenty of •stickatlveness." If you do your own housework, ft might be advisable for you to take this form of exercise out of doors. It also might help matters considerably if you are careful not to draw attention ro your husband's slight stature. Be tactful about it. and assure him that many a man of his build has developed a comfortable rotundity towards middle age. Cultivate the habit of good humour. Smile -ood naturedly over the fact that you are inclined to put on flesh. Have your dresses and coats made along lines that will not accentuate your RUTLEDGE brothers and WASHING-UP Hear Miss Rutledge.— We are the average working family—two bovs and two girls, and there is not much difference in our ages; but although my sister and I work equally as hard as our brothers, we find our-

upon them in Hie evenings and during the week-ends. In the evenings, after dinner, we clear “wav the ' vashin S up while they pre»i° e ° out or sit comfortably" reading the newspaper. , . ‘ H ‘ r “Other. Whom we like to help, is hahh ? h ? enou gh to allow this kahit to continue, but I think that It is ridiculous for girls who work hard and £ h ?i r e c l all day ' to have to keep ft ,rdv h b. l - C M he eveni "k while their stuidy brothers - : )**v. comfortable enjoying an kinds of little attentions Mil\r“' ler ° L 1 u ■ It would be enlightening to learn your point of answer. Marjory. I think that you have a perfect right P/nect to waiting on those strong, ablebodied brothers of yours, and if you take you will stiffen your upper lip and instead of complaining about their laziness, put the washing-up bowl and piles of plates them, at the same time reminding them that in this dav and age, a man should shoulder as much of the burden of housework as his hardworking sister. “If everybody in the village swept their own doorsteps, the whole village would be clean.” So you tell your brothers that ‘newspaper nursing” and “armchairing” just “isn’t done” until the dishes are out of the way. When you really get them “on the job,” praise their methods. A man is just as conceited about jumping into a new role as any woman. You are quite right in sparing your mother as much as possible. ANNE RUTLEDGE. YOUNG MOTHERS Dear Miss Rutledge,— Is it advisable for a young nursing mother to drink ale or stout? LILY. A NS~ r V EH. It is a grave mistake for a nursing or expectant mother to take alcohol in any form. Three good meals each day which include fresh fruit and vegetables—nature’s greatest gift—water, and liquids in cereal form, should be ample to feed a nursing mother. Remember the vegetable water is most valuable. Use this ANNE RUTLEDGE. THE COMPANION Dear Miss Rutledge,— 1 hope you can untangle this knot for me. I am engaged as companion-help and am very happy, but my mother wants me to come home, although I have two sisters at home and quite capable of doing the house work. I think it most unfair, as I shall never get a position like it again. I have another sister in a similar situation, and we are not allowed to speak because of a stupid grievance mother has against her. She has been a good pal to me, but I feel mother is jealous of our happiness. My father is quite reasonable, but mother never

will be, and with this nagging temper I always with her, she has made herself old and unfit as a companion. There are 10 children. 5 boys and r, j grirls. I am the middle girl. Why are mothers so unreasonable? If I have to go home I shall hate everything - . What can I do? What would you advise? EVA M. ANSWER Considering that your mother brought 10 children into the world, one can readily imagine that her lot has not been a very easy one. Again, too, she is your mother, and you owe her respect and a certain amount of consideration. But. by all means stick to your job. Make your own way in the world! Bank j your own savings. In the circumstances I think it much better for you to remain in a position where you are happy. If you go home you will forfeit your independence and the effect of your mother’s temper and ill-nature will sour and spoil your whole outlook upon life. If your mother continually makes her family unhappy, she is really throwing I away her own chance of happiness, for. . after all. we reap what we sow. It is just as ■'veil to remember that happiness I cannot be measured in cash. Real : happiness is generated by a worth-while I life, embracing good thoughts and good works. ANNE RUTLEDGE. WORKERS UNITE Dear Miss Rutledge,— 1 am engaged to marry a young man who is in rather straitened circumstances through no fault of his own. Already we have postponed. the date set for our wedding, and now it is again approaching. My fiance had hoped to see the tide in his fortunes turn before this, and he is considerably upset at the thought of again postponing the wedding date. As it happens I am earning a fairly good income, and if 1 wish, can add to this considerably by devoting another two hours each day to my job. In this way we could afford to commence house-keeping and could go ahead with the arrangements for the wedding. The only drawback would be the fact that I am supporting the household and my fiance seems to object to this idea. Any suggestion you can offer will be very welcome. C.D. ANSWER What you really propose to do is to undertake two jobs in one, a task that. requires exceptional ability and courage if it is to be carried on successfully. Consider the sacrifice! Instead of the restful assurance of a pleasant little home, and the pleasure and thought of i eal housekeeping, you will still be hurrying to catch trains, and punching timeclocks maybe. Then what kind of meals are you going to be able to set before your husband? Give due consideration to such things, because the life and health of you both depends on the amount of nourishment you get from your food. Hurried. badly-cooked meals are responsible for many a nasty attack of indigestion or nervous breakdown. If you are harassed and over anxious, not stopping to give yourself the necessary care, you will only decrease your earning power and worry your husband. Many an ambitious person seemingly striding ahead has been forced to admit later that what they “picked up with one hand they dropped with the other.” But if you prefer a business career with regular office hours, and are prepared to make the sacrifice, I see no reason why vou could not try it out for, say 12 months. Many young men and women work for their living during early married life, in order to build up a reasonable cash nucleus for a home. If this is vour idea, go ahead by all means. But make sure that your fiance’s prospects are satisfactory for a good living later on before you embark on the sea of matrimony. ‘ When financial troubles enter the home, love may easily fly through the window, unless real affection, together with firm ideals supports you above the •■material ’"'^VaNNEJIUTLBDQK.