FROM THE WATCH TOWER

Sun (Auckland), Volume II, Issue 554, 5 January 1929, Page 6

FROM THE WATCH TOWER

By

“THE LOOK-OUT MAN.”

HULLO. THERE! A. cable received yesterday stated that New Zealand is third among the world’s users of telephones, with 9.9 to every hundred of the population. I recollect, the telephone was once considered most outlandish. No such devices did we own. Wc didn't on the wires bemoan To creditors —or sweethearts blandish. But now our streets arc thick with wires, One talks where'er one's heart desires.

There came a dan of dawning light, Of flirting with prophetic vision. Wc gripped the old receivers tight, And called, “Hullo, there/ 1 to the sprite. Afar, who murmured in derision: “Don't waste your breath. The line's engaged .” .it that, who would not be enraged?

Now on the scroll of fame we're third. We're on a most luxurious wicket. Of every hur%'red in the herd Nigh ten by phone can get the bird. Ha, there's a ring! “What? lloiv's the cricket?" God, can't they let a. man alone? Confound the wretched telephone! — I T. TOHEROA.

OF COURSE Four Auckland climbers thought lost on Mount Egmont were not lost, but had stopped out all night in preference to continuing after nightfall. The name of two of the party was Walklate. And yet they ask; What’s in a name ? PAMPERED The husband of a Mrs. Venus, who appeared before a Londop Court, complained that his wife was so lazy that he had to wash her, dress her, cut her nails, comb her hair, and do the housework. The lady could not have required more attentions if she had been the Venus de Milo. THE ONLY WAY A London paper prints a, bright story of the American Presidential election. During the campaign Mrs. Hoover was being shown over White House. When she came to the State bedroom, Mrs. Hoover said smilingly: “I wonder if it will be my good fortune to sleep there?” An Irish servant in the room, and a staunch supporter of Mr. Hoover’s opponent, promptly retorted: “Not unless you sleep with A 1 Smith.”

LUNA-LEG A well-known Auckland surgeon has discovered a new muscular ailment. He calls it “Luna-leg.” The doctor tells how he happened upon the hitherto unnamed, if not unknown, complaint. “A day or two ago the kiddies dragged me off to the amusement park on the foreshore. They got me on to the scenic railway and really, d’you know, at the end of the trip I had to be pulled out of the car. I had got cramp in the right leg, trying to feel for the footbrake.” .

FISHERMAN'S LUCK Says Izaak W. Alton: I know the Kaipara is supposed to be a wonderful fishing ground, and I suppose Mr. Coates, having been a Prime Minister, should know where to throw out bait; but, candidly. I don’t envy him his fishing expedition to Kaipara Heads. I have been to Kaipara Hea#s twice. The first time it was too rough to fish, and I lost my hat, apart from the small question of internal stability; and the second time everyone else caught fish, but a fish caught I. The experts baited my hook, but it wouldn’t work. Yet. when I handed over my line for one of them to hold, he hauled up a beauty. Nowadays I do my fishing in Queen Street. It's easier.

IN FIFTY YEARS It is a common misconception that the telephone, of which, as stated in a cable message, there are now 35i million in use in the world, was invented by Edison. The same error applies to electric lighting. The real creator of the filament lamp Was Joseph Swan, an Englishman who was connected with a Napier (New Zealand) family of the same name. The inventor of the telephone was Alexander Graham Bell, who discovered the vital principle while experimenting with a sound-amplifier for his deaf wife. He was a trustee of the Clarke School for the Deaf, the school at which the wife of Calvin Coolidge was a teacher. That was in 1567. In 1876 Bell invented the telephone, and to-day it. is in use throughout the globe. Sweet are the uses of adversity, even deafness.