Page 7 Advertisements Column 1

Sun (Auckland), Volume II, Issue 543, 21 December 1928, Page 7 (Supplement)

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D 5^ DRAMA ---t SWEET 32 A lively young person named Henty Happy birthdays had garnered in plenty. But she shortened her dresses And bobbed her gold tresses And said she was but. twelve and twenty! (Mrs. F. M. Alderman, Dunedin.) FIRST PRIZE DELAYED ACTION There was a young man of Calcutta Who had a remarkable stutter. At breakfast-time he Asked his neighbour for B And at tea-time he uttered the “ —utter.” (E. L. Reed, Otahuhu.) CANNY A cautious old Scotsman called Strachan When asked if a shrimp was a prachan, Replied: “Hoots away, “Ah wouldna’ just say, And stoutly refused to be drachan. (E. L. Reed, Otahuhu.) GREYHOUND’S LAMENT A tired young greyhound said “Where Is that blighted electrical hare? I stretch all my joints And I catch him—on points; But when dinner-time comes, he’s not there!” (C. C. Leslie, Glen Eden.) m THANKS TO VORONOFF A man who lived down at Herne Bay Was dying of a senile decay. Since he took monkey glands He can walk on his hands And has hopes of his fourth wedding day. (G. D. Baker, Kawakawa.) eJ i v A RUMANIAN LEGEND An old man of far Bucharest Whom “revivals” most sadly deprest, Sat down, for his sins, On a couple of pins And he rose, and confest “he was blest.” (Miss E. M. Gurney, Waipukurau.) FREE VERSE There was a young woman of Wales Who went out for a walk with a sailor. He said: “Shall we talk .. . Llandudno y cymywmcwm Gwynnyth?” But she said: “No. I’d rather go to the pictures.” (H. Tolley, Christchurch.) COMPELLED TO LAND An adventurous fellow named Sam Thought to travel the world in a pram; But while crdssing the Ghats He was eaten by gnats So he had to continue by tram. (A. M. Iverach, Temuka.) THE BRUTE “I’d like a gold watch, dear,” she said, And he promised her one when they wed. But when they were married No longer he tarried; He bought an alarm-clock instead. (Miss S. E. Dassler, Te Rau-a-Moa) HER VICE A gay little minx of Waihi Had lovers numbering three. She lied and she wangled To keep all entangled, For her passion was afternoon tea. (Malachi Boyd, Auckland.) THE CURE A middy (an undersized small ’un) Started yellin’ and ’owlin’ and bawlin’ Till the bo’sun got sick of it And stopped him dam’ quick of it . . . They covered the corpse with tarpaulin. (Miss I!. Knell, Wellington.) ELOQUENCE WASTED An earnest young rebel named Sparks Absorbed the dull doctrines of Marx; He screamed at street corners While angry Reformers Cried: “Heavens, man, take t< the parks!” (Henry Toogood, Huntly.)