FROM THE WATCH TOWER

Sun (Auckland), Volume II, Issue 539, 17 December 1928, Page 8

FROM THE WATCH TOWER

By

“THE LOOK-OUT MAN.”

AS WORN In a case at the Court on Saturday, the fact that a man wore rubber shoes was mentioned against him. As 7 was pacing on my beat Without a thought of clues. The cracksman passed on silent feet. I saw his rubber shoes. The racquet in his guilty hand Was patently a blind. Consistent with his footwear and His furtive looks behind. His car stood near. Ah, vain pursuit! The evidence conspires To j)ut his guilt beyond dispute — The car had rubber tyres! Beowulf. THE BIRTHDAY Jack Hobbs, the cricketer, had a birthday on Saturday. Australian admirers gave him a boomerang. Many •happy returns. m * * RUBBING IT /.V “Give father socks for Christmas,” says a placard in a Queen Street window. And a very pretty thought, though it seems a trifle hard on father. WAFTING THEM HITHER Modern publicity methods are turning the eyes of Australians toward New Zealand. The New Zealand Government publicity agent in Sydney is Mr. Blow. He seems to be living up to his name. SAD HAPPENING As reported in an English daily: The story tells how, during a burial, the undertaker was seized with a fit and fell dead at the side of the grave. The report concluded with this observation; “This melancholy event cast a gloom over the proceedings!” The earlier part of the party had, of course, been quite bright. MONEY SCARCE The old saying, “never look a gift horse in the mouth,” does not apply in Dunedin, where the Ward Government’s offer of a £2,000 subsidy to unemployment relief has been received with dismay because it involves a payment of equal magnitude from the city. The town clerk says £2,000 will be very hard to raise. Yes, the bawbees will be. sticking pretty tight, these days. It’s Christmas time. * * » ANIMAL CURRENCY The new Irish coinage is to bear animals instead of the usual crowned heads or heraldic emblems. The halfcrown will bear a horse, and the florin a bull. Presumably this will be an Irish “bull,” though how it will be represented is not clear. Similarly, the emblem on a sixpence will he a wolfhound, making it no longer expedient to keep the wolf from the door. The plan Is refreshing and artistic, and its application to New Zealand seems desirable. A few representative animals could be distributed as follow: The half-crown, a swordfish in pensive mood, reading “Tales of an Angler’s Eldorado.” The florin, a sheep (in wool). The shilling, an eel (for slipping easily into gas meters). . , The sixpence, a crawfish. The threepense, half ditto. The iienny, a dairy cow, rampant. Half-penny, a mosquito (simply a nuisance). Farthing, a kiwi (seldom seen). ir Tr A fF rF -F rr rr -F ~F -j- tF fr -F -f- 7.” rF

THE GRAVEYARD “Torts" writes:—Talking of matriculation, have you ev,er entered an examination room and at once felt all your carefully stored cramming take wings and fly? It happened to me; 1919 was the date, the year of the ’flu qpidemic, and the 191 S examination had been deferred until January, 1919. Perhaps that was why I failed. My cramming could not stay the distance. Cramming rarely does, and that exposes the whole weakness of the present system. The examination room is the graveyard of many hopes, and the tables in my year were covered with sketches of tombstones and other lugubrious monuments, bearing such notes as these: “Here lies the grave of Henry Higgs, floored by the history paper, November, 1917.” The tables had not been scrubbed for a few years; at least, not thoroughly. Each table had burned into it the brand, “UNZ,” meaning University of New Zealand. One of my predecessors in a former year had employed his roving fancy by making this the basis of a near rhyme; “She rUNZ for tUNZ of bUNZ,” and someone else had come along and added, “Big wUNZ,” Do they still do these things?