FROM THE WATCH TOWER

Sun (Auckland), Volume II, Issue 537, 14 December 1928, Page 8

FROM THE WATCH TOWER

By

“THE LOOK-OUT MAN.”

THE TEST A seaman charged at the court yesterday with stealing four shirts, while drunk, was granted probation, largely j on the evidence of his landlady, who said he always paid his board. Kot by saintly abnegation leas he measured, * It wasn't for his courage that he got Probation for the loan of goods he treasured While somewhat “shot." It is true, a testimonial he was handed, But it wasn't based on valour in the line At Ansae, or in France, or even Flanders, Or Palestine. Whatc’nr his place in science, art or fashion, More nobly was his character restored. A finer tribute still obtained compassion — He paid his Board. T. TOHEBOA. KNEW HIS GROCERIES! Overheard on a ferry boat on Wednesday night: One Jack Tar to another, “How's this for a feed for 455? —one bottle of whisky, one bottle of port, one bottle of giji, six bottles of beer, and six bottles'of stout? Be all right to get it sent along to the ship marked ‘Groceries.’ Judging by the approval of his mate, somebody will get an order for "groceries.” HIT OK Mists' The cable-man puts it nicely: "Had the Celtic missed the rocks at Queenstown by only her own. breadth, she would have escaped scathless. Of course. Further news items taking the same line may be expected to read: "Mussolini was assassinated by a man with a revolver. Had the bullet missed him, and lodged in the Adam’s apple of his valet, Mussolini would have been unharmed.” Or, “Heeney knocked out Tunney In a boxing match at Dublin. Had he missed Tunney, and hit the referee, Tunney would have been still on Ills feet.” But perhaps it is only at Cork that these desperate Chances can be entertained. THE TABLES TURNED “Mere Male” writes: “Much has been said about the rise of woman. She has gradually forced her way into many spheres which in. The past were considered man’s exclusive domain. Time was when only fathers and brothers sat In masterly manner at the wheels of family automobiles, when the handling of the fractious motorcycle was not entrusted to any but the male. Sometimes brave young women were taken for a gentle ride on the carrier, if they were good! But times have changed, and it is feared that man is losing his place as the dominant sex. Last night, pedestrians in Manulcau Road were treated to the novel sight of a modern young woman, with hair flying and cheeks aglow with the exhilaration of it, riding a speeding motor-cycle to some purpose, while on the carrier was perched a member of that fast declining species, the male biped, who clung timidly to the stalwart frame of his exultant consort. In fact, it is now: Henry, Henry, give me an answer, do! It won’t be a stylish marriage, For I. haven’t an auto-carriage: But you’ll look sweet on the dickeyseat Of a motox’-bike built for two. 4"-;- &&**s%* a; a- a* -y & -i?

GILBERT THE FILBERT Apparently an Imperialistic policy striking a high note was not thought to come well from Gilbert Fi’ankau, the successful novelist who recently appeared as editor of the ambitious new weekly, “Britannia.” The paper came out decked with ci’ossed torches above a Greek inscription, and Frankau wrote niode:*ly: . . whatsoever the years bring to this new venture of mine—which bears, not unworthily, I hope, The Torches, and her own Undented emblem —Britannia, symbol of our peoples, will not fail.” The first issue brought Frankau into conflict with one of London’s ablest editors, ,T. L. Garvin, of the “Observer.” Garvin flayed his adversary, and referred to him as “Filbert Swankau.” More ti-ouble was in store. The American correspondent of “Britannia" was J. Wills Abbott, of the “Christian Science Monitor.” He complained that his “copy” had been “touched up,” and threatened to withdraw from association with the paper. Contributors to the first number were Benito Mussolini and Lord Birkenhead, with an article on divorce. Describing the noble lord's effusion, the Sydney “Bulletin” trenchantly said: “Every weapon iu the armory of Guff was there.” However, Lord Birkenhead has now succeeded in getting the editorship, while Frankau goes off with £12,000 and a lot of injured pride. He will now be free to write more best-sellers, which recalls that in 1913, or thei'cabouts, a dapper little man dropped into an Auckland bookseller's shop: “How are Gilbert Frankau’s books selling,” he asked, in the best disinterested manner. “Quite well.” was the reply. “That is good,” said the little man. "I am Mr. Frankau.”