To-Day’s Tennis Fable

Sun (Auckland), Volume II, Issue 522, 27 November 1928, Page 11

To-Day’s Tennis Fable

4. Of the Extraordinary Behaviour of an Artistic Umpire.

Once upon a time there was a “stousli stipe” or a “rabbit saver ” or , to put it more simply, a boxing referee who decided to give over the noble art because he could not take mislaid right swings with his old equanimity. But, feeling the urge to control the energy of his fellows, he took on tennis and finally was raised to the top of a step-ladder for a match of more or less importance. So he stood up majestically and with some slight risk on his croio's nest and announced to the assembly, “ Ladies and gen' V men,” he sang with a fine stentorian

• . , Mislaid right swings with his old equanimity,” drawl, “I have the pleasure to announce the final of the provincial championship of this province for the honour and glory and the Horne Cup, valued at tioo hundred guineas. Three advantage sets and may the best man win. On my right, i Overhead Archie* Magee, the Murchison Masher, weight 11 stone (Sib and one-half. On my left, Travers, of this city, also known as "Half-Volley Horace /* weight 7 stone 51b.” “Now, boys (in more confidential tone), anything over theUbacklines and the t side-lines is out. Watch your feet, I'm after footfaults. If you don't keep your side of the net, Magee , out you goes for keeps, and the first time you gets obscene, Horace, I calls it a win on a foul. Keep your tempers, it won't pay to get your shirts out. “Masher, you got a reputation for pointing, but see here nothing gets across this guy and what I says has got to go. No back chat or up on the mat. “Right-oh, boys. Shake. Box on. ...”