FROM THE WATCH TOWER

Sun (Auckland), Volume II, Issue 499, 31 October 1928, Page 8

FROM THE WATCH TOWER

By

“THE LOOK-OUT MAN.”

SEEING STARS Tile largest telescope in the world is to be installed in California. The stars on view at Hollywood would be enough for most people. ... UNFAIR EXCHANGE Two masculine flat-dwellers in an Auckland suburb solved the problem of getting the milk each morning by suspending a billy on a long cord from their kitchenette window on the first floor. Their arrangement .worked wonderfully until the other morning, when a group of late revellers evidently stopped for breath in the alleyway. The result was an unexpected catch—two beer bottles on the end of the string, and no billy can. But the crowning blow was yet to come —the bottles were empty. ... MORPHEUS REIGNS The charge of Mr. Kells Mason that members of Parliament occasionally doze in the Chamber is nothing new. It echoes some caustic remarks made by Mr. J. A. Lee last session, when a celebrated occasion on which the lights were turned low, so as not to disturb the sleepers, was recalled. However, members are only human. It has to be remembered that some of the speeches heard in the House (and elsewhere) are like a solid sedative. The man who would not nod under such conditions would not even blink if he were sandbagged. Queerer things than sleeping members are sometimes seen in the House. During last session one member, in a fit of complete absent-mindedness, actually walked into the Legislative Council Chamber instead of the Lower House. * * * “BABY MORKEL ” HELPS Politicians or would-be politicians gfjt bogged in their own arguments quite frequently. It is less common for them to be bogged in mud, as was Mr. A. H. Curtis, the Reform candidate for Marsden. Difficulties in extricating his car recall an experience that befel a well-known Auckland motorist at the top of Titiokura Hill, on the Taupo-Napier Road. A car was bogged at the summit, and the Aucklander, who Is sometimes known to his friends as “Baby Morkel,” got out to assist. The driver of the bogged car, however, remained In his seat, placidly chewing peanuts, while some of his lady passengers stood by In the rain. “I got that driver by the scruff of the neck,” said the helper afterwards, “and I dumped him out on the grass. Then I said to him: ‘Now eat your peanuts,’ but he was frightened to eat any more.” "Which after all is not surprising. * * * HUSBAND’S ADVICE Mr. W. T. Young, former general secretary of the Seamen’s Union, has learned that though he could control the various elements in that institution, in his own domestic union he is not even consulted on a most vital question. Mrs. Young has allowed herself to be nominated for Parliament, and without telling her husband. She is standing as an Independent Labourite, which, since she will pull good votes from the official Labour candidate, Mr. P. Fraser, is rather annoying for that member’s supporters. But Mr. Fraser, perhaps because his seat is known to be one of the safest in the country, simply says “the more the merrier.” With Mr." Young it is different. Possibly he is wondering who will codk for him and make the beds during the campaign, so he advises people not to vote for his wife. He seems to be not merely asking for trouble, but shrieking for it.

SPEED FIENDS Captain Malcolm Campbell is prospecting in the Sahara desert for a natural motor-speedway. In Campbell and Segrave the British Empire possesses two of the most daring exponents of what, outside long-distance ocean flights, must still remain the world’s most dangerous game. The tragedy is that, in the new light these daring speed kings are able to throw upon the latest in engineering developments, there is always the shadow of disaster. Racing drivers who keep at the game rarely live to a peaceful old age, the late Frank Lockhart (U.S.A.), and Parry Thomas (Britain) being notable examples. Another was Harry Hawker, the brilliant Australian aviator, who was the first to fly under the Tower Bridge, London, and who was later killed on the Brooklands racing track. The history of the suicidal business is starred with picturesque figures, not the least of whom were the aristocratic Zborowskis. father and son, both martyrs to the fatal call of speed. Their car, Chitti-bang-bang. driven by a Zeppelin engine, was an historic and altogether remarkable piece of mechanism.