To-Day’s Tennis Fable

Sun (Auckland), Volume II, Issue 498, 30 October 1928, Page 11

To-Day’s Tennis Fable

1. Of the Fate of Samuel Simkins, Who Would Wear Braces on Court.

Though the late Samuel Simpkins would hit halls which were going out and would play in his street-going socks and though he committed many other sins against the sacred name of tennis , this was not his ivorst act of blasphemy. He would play in braces. There was nothing wrong with the suspenders in themselves. In fact, they showed his aesthetic taste; they icere of best elastic in nicelyblended shades of mauve and puce,

with a suggestion of canary. The cardinal lesson which he hadn’t learnt was that braces are limited to the boudoir, like the wives of the Chinese. They never appear in the outside world. In his own small club Samuel was smiled upon on Saturdays but, like so many other innocent young men, he was never told the things he should have known. Then, one day, the honour fell, upon Samuel to play for his club in the Z grade competition . He put on his best brown socks and his best bow tie (and, of course, his shirt and trousers), and his braces over all, like a sunset upon Mount Cook. His opponent looked at him once and walked off the coxirt, declaring •that under Rule 67, sub-section )/, clause x, that Samuel must lose by default for unfair tactics. This was the beginning of a cause celebre. Finally the governing body decided, on the recommendation of a Royal Commissioti, that Samuel had been guilty of “obscenity and indecency on the courts ." Before a gathering of thousands of players, Samuel’s braces were smashed front his shoulders and his racket broken. Brokenly, he tottered from the court, holding up his pants with one hand, amid the jeers of the multitude. He was never seen again. This is the terrible tale of the Young Man 'Who was Never Told. DEUCE.