FROM THE WATCH TOWER

Sun (Auckland), Volume II, Issue 493, 24 October 1928, Page 8

FROM THE WATCH TOWER

By -THE LOOK-OUT MAN.” ACTIVE j ‘ The shade of Seddon stands tonight in protest again this chicanery. He -would turn in his grave.”—Extract j from an election speech. The dei parted statesman seems to preserve ! his athletic tendencies. OETTIXG THE BLUES ; “Dark blue will be popular among women this season,” reads a fashion note. It is well known that every woman loves a sailor, but possibly this pechant is to be extended to include policemen as well. i SEW BROOM.-' In accordance with -a suggestion made by leaders of the city’s unemi ployed, the Chamber of Commerce will recommend to the Mayor that city “clean-up week” be held shortly. It is to be hoped that this clean-up ' will be as successful as the last. which, as everyone knows, was | organised by Commissioner Mcllveney. FIXBIXG A HOME A labourer of no fixed abode has . been arrested at Palmerston Xorth on charges of throwing stones and iron at motor-cars. Should the charges be sustained, his difficulty about the lack of a fixed abode will doubtless be settled for the near future. WITH THE MILK The difference between direct and • circumstantial evidence was recently defined by Mr. J. S. Barton, S.M., at Wanganui. “Direct evidence,” he said, “is seeing a man put water in the milk, and circumstantial evidence is finding a trout in the can.” We would not call that evidence—we would call it a miracle. ABOUT THE X'ARTIAXS What wonderful politicians the Martians would make, with their large ears, so well adapted to the timehonoured political pastime of keeping an ear to the ground. And what grand Rugby forwards they could be —nearly eight feet in height, and with five times the energy of a human being. We should send a special ship, complete with press-gang, if necessary, to bring back a few against the visit of the Springboks in 1934. Between now and then there should be ample time to initiate them into the mysteries of the 2 —3—2 i scrum, with a nimble giant trained to j be the loose head. Why, even the j women would be useful forwards. ! Imagine Brownlie “woman-handled” j by one of these, or Dailey hanging on j to the sail-like ear of a Martian female j while she sped helter-skelter for the ] line. These vagrant reflections are 1 prompted by the remarkable revela- . tions of Mr. Mansfield Robinson, ex- [ town clerk of Shoreditch, and now a psychic investigator, who seems to \ have found the cable man in unusually expansive mood. Better stuff than this latest fantasia was purveyed about Mars years ago by H. G. Wells, I Conan Doyle, and others. But the ! hard-headed romancers had the can- j dour to acknowledge their works as ; merely the fruit of speculation, so I avoiding the danger of Colney Hatch, j

PUTTING IT OVER The ingratiating methods of our unofficial Auckland mendicants betray familiarity with a style of salesmanship learned in a hard school. A good tale is the commodity they have for sale. In one case a tawdry brooch may be thrown in for good measure. “Ain’t it awful,” says the salesman, “to be down to this.” He is starving, yet his breath speaks of the grape. There is one elderly campaigner, of the fallen-on-evil-days but onee-knew-better-things type, whose clinching argument is a choice line of Greek. The characters won’t bear expert scrutiny—but Greek scholars are rare in Auckland. SOULFUL AIM EE Mrs. Aimee Macpherson has been : conducting a vigorous, if unorthodox, campaign in England and Scotland, preaching what is known in America as “hot gospel.” (No apologies to Ezra. Pound.) Rally you Gospel-fans, Britishers! Step it with pep ! Where's my publicity agent* Gather the gang! Tell all them bishops in bedgowns they better get hep . . . It's Aimee, booked through from Los Angeles! . . . BANG! BANG! BANG! Pag ' me the song spillers, Magnavox! Polk! Get this right — All them old hymns are back numbers—the worst that is sang; foller 3lommer — she’ll spill you a Big sing to-night And s oill treist Satan's te l from his pycjammers! . . . BANG! BANG! BANG! —EZRA HALF-POUND.