TOPICAL TITBITS

Sun (Auckland), Volume II, Issue 478, 6 October 1928, Page 23

TOPICAL TITBITS

Television may satisfy the longstanding curiosity as to what static looks like. —Detroit News. A political candidate talks about public opinion until he’s defeated, then he begins to speak of herd ignorance.— Cincinnati Inquirer. “I am not kissing babies for publication,” said Mr. Hoover —for publication. A gentleman, of course, never tells. —The New Yorker. They say wind blowing into the mouth injures the tonsils. Mention this to the driver who occupies the back seat.—AJcron Beacon-Journal. Perhaps the easiest way to meet the best people of a community is to get a Job as bill-collector.—San Diego XJnion-Tribune. Culture is sadly on the wane in America, according to a French critic. Maybe he had in mind the fact that a prizefighter doesn’t seem to draw quite one million dollars any more.— Jackson Daily News. The mills of the gods grind slowly, but they get there just the same, as the poet says. Once upon a time a snake put one over on a lady, and now the ladieg are wearing snakeskin shoes. —Macon Telegraph.

Touching Fidelity.—Mae: “Since you have broken your engagement to Jim because your feelings toward him aren’t the same, why do you keep his ring?” Mabel: “Because my feelings toward the ring are still the same as ever!” * * * Ask Dad, He K nows.—A young man ! arrived home after having received the degree of M.A. for graduate work at college. “I suppose Robert will be looking for a Ph.D. next,” said a friend of the family to the father. “No,” was the reply, “he will be looking for a J. 0.8.” * * * The Cure-all. —A man went to his doctor and requested treatment for his ankle. After a careful examination the doctor inquired: “How long have you been going about like this?” “Two weeks.” “Why, man, your ankle is broken. How you managed to get around is a marvel. Why didn’t you come to me at first?” ‘Well, doctor, every time I say anything i s wrong with me my wife declares TO have to stop smoking/

r:- * Pass the Earmuffs.—“ Does your radio make an awful chattering noise?” “Yes, it’s just like one of the family/* * * * The Tourist. —Visitor: “And where is your daughter in service, Mrs. Miggs?” Mrs. Miggs: “Well, sir, she don’t date ’er letters, an’ I’ve got ’em all mixed up, so goodness knows where she is! ” The Commercial Gift. A young artist of doubtful talent was visited by a wealthy merchant. After looking at a number of pictures the business man saic’: - “Young man. do you sell much of your work?” “Of course I do,” the artist replied untruthfully, thinking that at last he was about to sell a picture. “Well,” said the merchant, “if you will come to my office to-morrow I will give you a good job. I have been looking for a salesman like you for years.