FROM THE WATCH TOWER

Sun (Auckland), Volume II, Issue 461, 17 September 1928, Page 8

FROM THE WATCH TOWER

By “THE LOOK-OUT MAN.” BUSMAN’S HOLIDAY Auckland telegraph messengers held a social and dance on Saturday evening. There is no truth in the rumour that most of the evening was, given up to the Grand March. SPRING’S ANSWER . Pity the poor poets who sit in silent ecstasy and write reams about our spring! One had an annoying experience the other day. “Hail, gentle spring!” he wrote. And it hailed, and hailed, and hailed. DOGGED HEROISM “Prince,” a Canadian husky dog, has been presented with a silver collar by Prime Minister Mackenzie King, in recognition oE his heroic actions during a recent Alberta blizzard. Although a plateful of bones would have been more acceptable, “Prince” was too much of a gentleman to show his disappointment, and returned thanks in a few well-chosen harks. SCOTS GEOMETRY Scotsmen are ambitious. A professor at a college in Aberdeen has made a suggestion that Scottish educational methods should be distinct from the English lines of tuition in all subjects. When an Irish wit heard of this inter-racial freak he suggested that the Scots professor should revise geometry. As an example he tentatively presented this axiom: “An Aberdonian will drink only a given quantity.” SENSATIONAL A sensation has been caused in Chicago. An old and widely-respected bootlegger died from perfectly natural causes. Suspicious officials considered that an inquest was necessary, but nothing could be brought forward to show that sharpshooting Prohibitionagents were in any way responsible. Indeed, no bullet had been filed at the deceased for some time. Disappointed agents are reported to nave laid a wreath on the bootlegger's grave, labelled: “With regret.” Probably this is an exaggeration. But, in any case, an American writer, in a thoughtful mood the other day, decided that a bootlegger’s life was merely popping between the popping of agents’ guns and the popping of corks. CURE FOR THE DUMB A young man of Switzerland has found a cure for dumb people. He had been speechless for several years, until he joined an alpine party. This is not a slur on his fellow alpinists. A stray and playful avalanche came along, and the young Swiss was seen to be dangling over a precipice from a guide rope. Strangely enough, his companions, who were on firm ground, were not greatly surprised to hear the young fellow deliver a volley of Swiss requests for assistance. It is now thought that fear prompted speech. Three rounds on any golf links with a retired army officer are suggested as an alternative cure for the speechless. But there are risks in either case.

OPPORTUNITY Many otherwise bold women being frightened into dumb terror by thunder and lightning last evening, quite a few married men were able to realise their great ambition to “get a word in edgeways.” * * * DISTORTED LINES Mr. Edgar Wallace, as a dramatist, is a strict disciplinarian. He recently gave members of “The “Squeaker” company a tremor of nervousness. A number of actors must have felt a little anxious when they saw on the board a notice stating: “There will be a rehearsal at 2.40 on Monday at which I hope to remove some of the improvements introduced since I last saw the play.” Mr. Wallace will not tolerate “gags” and variations from the proper text unless he is first consulted. Some leading dramatists, Mr. Shaw being a notable example, let the acting rights of their plays on the strict understanding that not a syllable must be altered. But the average dramatist, not being in such a strong position, has to sit at rehearsals and watch his play being cut and rebuilt at the discretion of a producer who regards the original script merely as a convenient starting point.