FROM THE WATCH TOWER

Sun (Auckland), Volume II, Issue 460, 15 September 1928, Page 8

FROM THE WATCH TOWER

By “THE LOOK-OUT MAN.” DOOMSDAY BOOK A book in whicn Heeney keeps records of bis lights is called the “Scrap Book.” Quite an appropriate name, but surely “Doomsday Book” would be better. NOT SIDEY TIME Notice in the personal column of a morning paper: “Half-hour Tate; sorry; try Monday same time and place.” The L.O.M. suggests that in all future appointments the male should adopt the recognised practice and take off half an hour from local time.' This is known as “Flapper Time,” and it saves cold heels and profanity. FASHION’S WHIMS The whims of fashion certainly keep women from ennui these days. After years of slimming it is now necessary to become plump in order to wear the dernier cri. The frog, Inflating and deflating at will is, it would seem, the only creature that has no cause for worry. WHISPERING IN POLITICS America does things well. The Presidential campaign has been made brighter by the introduction of a system of whispering detractions against Al. Smith. it seems to the L.O.M. that Governor Smith should employ his namesake, Jack, to do some whispering baritone stuff against Hoover. LINGUAL DIFFICULTY The best school boy orator in Britain, an IS-year-old pupil of Bournemouth secondary school, has been granted a free trip to America so that he can enter into competition with boys selected from schools in the United States. Which language will they use in the contests, English or American? IRISH SABBATHS MENACED There should be a brighter journalism movement in Dublin now that Mr. de Valera has been given absolute editorial control of a Republican Sunday newspaper. Mr. Cosgrave will have to exercise his patience to keep Sabbath calm after reading some of the Republican articles. * * * MR. NOSWORTHY AND EMPIRE Mr. Nosworthy, at Vancouver, has been giving a little Empire-building advice. He assures us that it is necessary to get down to the fundamentals, not only of immigration within the Empire, but also of the best means of consolidation of all the interests of the Empire. Advice like this is very, helpful, and stimulates thought; but it only needs a 'closely contested football match to put all thoughts of Empire unity into the background for several days Nevertheless, Mr. Nosworthy is doiug his best.

COLOURED The late Sir George Wills used to declare that he smoked nothing but the products of the great tobacco firm of which he was head, and in that he followed the example of earlier members of the family. His grandfather used to tell how he ran out of tobacco when strolling through a country village, and entered the only shop to ask for some Wills’s “bird’s eye” twist. The old dame, explaining that she had little demand for packet tobaccos, went hunting among her boxes, and he sought to help her by recalling that the brand he wanted had a red nigger’s head on the label. “Lor, sir,” said she, glancing at the packet as she produced it, “you don’t mean to tell me as how’s that a nigger? I alius thought as it was Mr. Wills.” * * * ALMIGHTY SPORT The Empire Parliamentarians left Vancouver last night on their way East across Canada. Vancouver did not worry about the departure of these wise makers of Empire policy; in fact, Vancouver did not know they had gone. The party went unnoticed, like a ship that silently slips its moorings and goes out in the night. Strange th&t clamorous politicians should depart so. But the explanation is simple. Percy Williams, the young Olympic sprint champion, had come home to Vancouver, and Vancouver forgot politicians and the affairs of the natic«. Thousands thronged the streets, and the whole city made holiday. Even the Premier and his Ministers deserted their erstwhile guests to do honour to the Olympic hero. Almighty sport!