FROM THE WATCH TOWER

Sun (Auckland), Volume II, Issue 454, 8 September 1928, Page 8

FROM THE WATCH TOWER

By “THE LOOK-OUT MAN.” FOOTING THE BILL The latest reports from Paris say that dresses will be longer this year. If dresses must be longer, will the dress bill lengthen too? Or will by some grand stroke of luck the opposite be true? If dress bills do get longer, will the price of stockings fall? In short,, will poor old father reap the benefit at all? Will lingerie grow cheaper as the frock lengths sweep the floor? Will garters add to costly lists of “extras’ 3 evermore? Alas, one length, we fear, remains a constant fixture still — The same unchanging length—of face—of dad, who pays the bill. UNEQUALLED Speaking before the Canterbury Chamber of Commerce early this week, the Mayor of Christchurch, the Rev. J. K. Archer, referred at length to a new boulevard scheme which is to improve the banks of the Avon out of all knowledge. “It will make Christchurch different to any other city.” Surely that is not necessary. It is different already. Mr. Archer lives there.

EAST IS EAST Ail Auckland architect who has r% cently returned from a tour of the Orient says that European architecture is being adopted in the East. In spite of this, however, we cannot help thinking that it will he a long time before the visitor to Pekin or Yokohama is confronted with a facsimile of the London Albert Memorial, for example. Anyway, don’t the Eastern races want to encourage the tourist traffic?

BLAST AGAINST WOMEN Should there be any male member of Parliament who is to be opposed by a woman, the L.O.M. commends to his notice a pleasing pamphlet, “Against the Regiment of Women,” written by the Scottish reformer, John Knox. Here is the opening sentence: “To promote a woman to bear rule, superiority, dominion, or empire, above any realm, nation, or city, is repugnant to nature, contumely to God, a thing most contrarious to His ruled will and approved ordinance, and finally it is the subversion of good order, of all equity and justice.”

THE LAST STRAW If it is the last straw that performs such ruinous tricks with the camel’s vertebrae, we would like to know how much effort is required to break a motor-cycle’s back. It was proved at the Magistrate’s Court yesterday that four persons, a gun, and a quantity of ammunition, could not do so. Whether he was testing his machine, or endeavouring to solve the traffic problems of Auckland, we do not know r , but at all events the rider of the cycle was fined 10s and costs. The world always frowned thus on scientists. Each new experiment is met with cold rebuffs. The world is still left to wonder how many persons, and how much luggage, can be carried with safety on a motor-cycle.

TO GET RID OF TT A piano with a walnut case was recently sold at a Weybridge (England) auction sale for 3s. The L.O.M. does not know whether the piano owned by “the woman next door” has a wooden case or not, but he is going in this evening to offer 4s for the instrument—one shilling more than the prevailing rates for pianos in England. Then for 10 minutes’ glorious work with the axe! * * * POLICE CONSCIENCE Stratford’s sergeant of police has just prosecuted himself for allowing the station chimney to catch fire. In the role of the prosecutor he said “inspection showed the chimney was very dirty indeed,” and for the defence he pleaded “I am a first offender, and I have been in the station only 12 months.” His action opens up great possibilities. Constable John Brown, who has been to his sister’s wedding, will suddenly arrest himself for drunkenness and take himself, handcuffed and defiant, to the station. In court he will say: “Y’r worship, on the night of the ISth I first noticed Brown because he was staggering over the footpath- He could not say ‘statistician” clearly, and he smelt of liquor. I arrested defendant, who was then drunk. He resisted, damaging my hat and tunic.” Then Brown, the defendant, will say: “I am very sorry, I had only two glasses of port. The constable is telling a bundle of lies.” Summing up, the magistrate will say that there seems to be some conflict in the evidence. Brown will be cautioned, and ordered to pay the cost of the damage to shako and tunic.