FROM THE WATCH TOWER

Sun (Auckland), Volume II, Issue 449, 3 September 1928, Page 8

FROM THE WATCH TOWER

By “THE LOOK-OUT MAN.” THOSE LIGHT CARS A notice prominently displayed at the Amateur Operatic Society’s Hall in Grafton Road forbids the parking of cars in the passage. Evidently one of the members owns one of those well-known light cars that are sold complete with shoe-horn.

NOSING ALONG In a lecture on “The Human Form,” a Southern doctor desex-ibed the organ of smell as superfluous. In some centres this is regarded as a delicate hint to the New Zealand workman to keep his nose to the grindstone.

BARS OF SUNLIGHT Owing to the fact that they wear modern clothes that are not suited to the conditions under which they live, many Ellis Islanders exist in a state of indescribable filth and are consequently in urgent need of soap. Many small boys of our acquaintance, on hearing this news, have offered to send all the soap in their homes to the Islands. They add that, In such a good cause, they are prepared to do without soap until further notice.

A SAFE DEPOSIT A notice In the window of a Mount Eden shop gives the following remarkable information: “Lost, handbag, by old lady containing 7s 6d. Please inquire within.” Evidently the old lady was prudent enough to put her money in a safe place before losing the bag. In the circumstances, however, it might be safer if inquiries were left in the hands of a surgical expert. COMPULSORY SILENCE

A novel event at a recent British spoi’ts carnival was a “swimming under water” race. There were two sets of prizes, one fox’ those who swam farthest, and another for those who stayed under longest, Irrespective of the distance covered. Why is there no such contest as this promoted in New Zealand. An inducement held out to politicians and saxophone players would result in enormous fields. COMMUNISM DEFINED

, There are indications that the Red Peril has been modified. Two Australian Socialists have told courts in which they occupied pride of place that- Communists are not revolutionaries. Instead, a better word has been found. One of the men, who had been charged with attempting to intimidate seamen, added that people who used arms to enforce their economic opinions were insurreetionaries. On top of this distinction, the lawyer for the Socialist explained that there could be such a thing as a bloodiest revolution. In theory, the last idea is sound. It Is to be hoped, however, that misguided “Reds” do not believe that practice makes perfect. FIGHTING RATS Although white rats usually have pink eyes, specimens of a new variety, with black eyes, have been found In Central France. Though it was expected that Tunney’s retirement and consequent free-for-all elimination bouts would raise boxing interest to the highest pitch, even the most confident of promoters never anticipated that pugjlism would spread so far.

GATE CRASHING An English colyumist claims to be the discoverer of the originator of the word “gate crasher.” When that picturesque person. Add Day, arrived at the Wembley Rodeo, he writes, he an-j nounced that he would spend the aftei-noon crashing gates in the Amusement Park. Major E. O. Leadlay was standing by. He said there would be no necessity for that because he could get Add Day tickets for any of the side-shows. But Add Day replied: “I don’t want any tickets; anybody can get in tvith a ticket, but it takes a good man to get In without a ticket.’.’ What is more, I believe he visited all the attractions without a ticket of any sort.

“ PUSSYFOOT’S " BRIDE “Pussyfoot” Johnson, who once visited New Zealand, has taken unto himself a wife, Mrs. Mary Stanley, of Washington. The famous px-ohibitlon lectui'er, it will be l-emembered, tui-ned hostility to sympathy in Great Britain when, a few years ago, during a ragging by students in London, a missile destroyed the sight of his right eye. He bore the misfortune stoically and good-humouredly. He is 66. The bride admits to 47 summers. “Pussyfoot” has never shown the least resentment at the accidental injury to his eye. He has always joked about it, saying: “I can see the violator of the Prohibition Act just as well with one eye as with both.”