FROM THE WATCH TOWER

Sun (Auckland), Volume II, Issue 413, 23 July 1928, Page 8

FROM THE WATCH TOWER

By “THE LOOK-OUT MAN.” SILHOUETTES OF THE SESSION No. 8 Mr. J. McCombs Rakes about in tombs. “The blunders of the past Must be disclosed at last .” ATHLETIC ENDEAVOUR Answer to Correspondent.—We understand ttiat the. paper to which you refer announced that one of the athletes had “thrown the biscuit 100 yards,” but that this was not a gesture of revulsion after a glut of wafers; merely a praiseworthy endeavour to name an ancient pastime—“throwing the discus.” TINNED CASH An Australian fortune-teller, one Mrs., or perhaps we should say “Madame,” Scales, has confessed to burying over £I,OOO in jam tins in her backyard. This disposes of the old belief that money was the only thing one should not expect to find in jam tins. THE HEEI'oF ACHILLES Be prepared for a surprise. Immigration officials are not infallible. No, no, not in New Zealand, but in the United States, where things are done systematically, so the inhabitants say. According to reports, the U.S.A. authorities, in spite of stringent precautions, are unable to prevent hundreds of Chinese from, making their way illicitly into the country. Obviously there’s a chink in the armour somewhere. POLICE METHODS Following the report of the special committee to the House of Commons, it is announced that Scotland Yard’s methods of taking statements from witnesses is to be altered. That reminds the L.O.M. of the story told of a New Zealand police station —possibly apocryphal. A visitor heard sounds of strife in the next room, and when, he inquired what it was, he was told that Detective was taking a voluntary statement. SOMETHING NEW Instead of having the words, “Keep off the grass,” shouted from signs in public gardens, the Boston civic authorities have discovered a remarkably effective request. No, it is not: “Citizens, this is your property, look after it,” such as we New Zealanders so often see. It is merely, “Please.” This one-word sign is simple, but it is the sort of notice which jumps out and jars one into a sense of one’s responsibilities. It could be used to good purpose in Auckland. * * * GULLED At Maungakiekie on Saturday an enterprising gull almost succeeded in robbing a player of a new golf ball, flying 300yds before dropping it. It might be suggested to Auckland golfers whose best shots are being imperilled by gulls that the Wise Men of Gotham had a novel method of keeping birds in captivity. They might try it on the links. Which reminds us of a story told of the first telegraph wire laid in the back country of New South Wales. When the blacks saw it stretching for miles, 30ft above the ground, they chuckled loudly at the white man’s idiocy. “White pfeller he make fence so high, kangaroo he no can jump it,” they gasped, “but, baal min tinkit! Him. forget small pfeller animals walk underneath!”

WIDER EDUCATION The Sydney University proposes to engage a criminal of wide experience, ranging over housebreaking plain thieving, fancy thieving, .“confidence” work and blackmail (in all its branches). The crook one will lecture to students of psychology in their luncheon hour on “Crime as a Career” and “Picking Pockets as a Profession.” The thing is full of possibilities. Why not extend the lecture course to include “Murder as a Fine Art” and engage a park thug to give demonstrations among the less popular members of the professorial board? CALEDONIA WINS The cables announce tbat 25 per cent, of the population of Glasgow is Irish. The Free Church of Scotland protests against this because 70 per cent, of the pauper relief in the city has to be distributed to the Irish population. A sad thing this, for it shows that the courageous Irish, who have supplied the English Army with most of its generals, and the Englishspeaking world with most of its policemen, became paupers in the economic combat with the Scots. The Free Church further suggests that Irish migrants should be admitted to their blessed land under a quota system. O, foolish churchmen, who knows but a time may come when the nations of the world decide to send back to glen and highland, Scotland’s principal export —Scotsmen. As Dr. Johnson said: The noblest prospect a Scotsman ever sees, is the high roadto England.