A JEST OR TWO

Sun (Auckland), Volume II, Issue 412, 21 July 1928, Page 25

A JEST OR TWO

Passing the Buck.—Clubman: “I’ve struck a perfectly priceless idea. I’ve arranged to give a man 10,000 dollars* on condition that he relieves me of al 1 my worries.” Friend: “That’s fine; but where are you going to get the 10,000 dollars?” Clubman: “Ah, that will be his flrsr worry.”

Sauce for the Goose. —There was another man who was hen-pecked. His wife cornered him one day and said: “I’m sick and tired of hearing you refer to the car as your car. Hereafter 1 want you to call it our car. I’ve got a half-interest in everything you own.” That night he said to her: “Please, won't you patch our pants?”

Wrong Scent. —Mother: Son, do I smell tobacco on your breath? Son: Yes, mother. Mother: Then you will have to stop going out with those girls. * * * Camping on the Game Trail. —Mrs. Jones: Ho your daughters live at home? Mrs. Smith: Oh, no; they are not married yet. Hard to Please.—-Country-bred Maid: “But, sir, why do you write so much ?” Master: “I an* an author —I write novels.” Maid: “Fancy taking all that trouble when you can buy a novel for sixpence’”

Hard-boiled Soothsayers.—“Ho you know a reliable fortune-teller?” “Well. Dun and Bradstreet are rather good.” Giub!—“Hid you hear what happened to Jones?” "No—do tell! “He got drunk in Venice, and tried to lie down in the gutter.” Pretty Warm Party.—He: Conic on lup to our house to-nighfi She: I can t J—l am going to see “Tristan and Isolde.” “Well, bring them along.” * * * Sitting Pretty.—“ Hid you really understand the scientific lecture you heard last night?” “No, but that did not matter—l had a free ticket.” • * * Advance Payment.—“ What are you thrashing your little son for?” "Ho will get his school report to-morrow, and I must go away to-night.” * * * Learning Who’s What.—Student • bumping into grey-haired mam. “Hey, where in heck are you going V” Man: “Say, kid, I guess you don’t know who I am. I’m the assistant football coach.” Student: “Oh. pardon me, sir; I thought you were the dean.” • * • Flying High.—An Irishman about three sheets to the wind was on his way home. It was after midnight, and as he crossed a bridge he saw the reflection of the moon on the water. He stopped and was gazing into the water when a policeman approached from the opposite direction. The Irishman, addressing the policeman, said: “Phwat’s the matter down there?” 1“ Why, that’s the moon,” replied the policeman. “Well, how in the deuce did I got up - i