FROM THE WATCH TOWER

Sun (Auckland), Volume II, Issue 400, 14 July 1928, Page 8

FROM THE WATCH TOWER

By

“THE LOOK-OUT MAN.”

SILHOUETTES OF THE SESSION No. 2: Mr. J. A. Lee Says Mr. Wright would be A. tasteless chick, chick, chicken, And hardly worth the pickin'. GOLDEN EGGS “Hens in the United States lay 700 eggs a second,” states a morning paper. Small wonder they call America the land of hustle. The L.O.M. would give his grand piano for one of those hens. UNUSUAL CONDITIONS England has experienced a week of perfect weather. What a nuisance, with the cricket season in full swing! Batsmen will be all at sea and will have a fine opportunity to demonstrate their adaptability to all kinds of weather, however extraordinary. SCOTCH MIXTURE An American scientist tells us that there is more in coffee than in any other beverage. It contains water, sugar, fat, casein, gum, oil, mineral matter, wood, and caffeine—a drug composed of nitrogen, carbon, hydrogen and water. The L.O.M. has noticed all these ingredients and wishes to place on record that once he actually saw some coffee in among the rest oi the “grounds for complaint.” LARGE BIRDS The largest hird is the ostrich, which stands nearly Bft. high and weighs 3001 b. The largest seabird is the albatross, which has a wing-span of about 12ft.; and the largest European bird is the great bustard, whose wings are from 4ft. to 7ft. from tip to tip. This list, of course, does not include the large ornithological specimen presented to the Mayor of Devonport at the opening of the new ferry wharf last Saturday. * * * PASSIVE CRUELTY On the grounds of persistent cruelty a woman has applied for a separation order from her husband. In evidence she admitted that she had thrown a teapot in his face and thrashed him with a broom. At first the L.O.M. could hardly see wherein the husband’s cruelty lay, but it may be that it lay in his refusal to carry on the festivities in the spirit in which they were started. POISON GAS They have been talking comfortably in the House of Lords about a new poison gas that is powerful enough to annihilate London in a few hours. The Leader of the House reprimanded one speaker for making remarks that would “have a very grave effect outside.” There are kinds of poison gas (spoken variety) just as deadly as the fruit of the scientist’s fiendish resource. * * * WOMAN IN CHARGE Having debated the subject exhaustively, master mariners of London defeated a motion “that women should be a! lowed to command ships in the merchant marine,” by 33 votes to two. We must applaud this sentiment. Who would care to see our mercantile marine unmanned?

INCOMPLETE ACCOUTREMENTS Nicaraguan revolutionaries have been driven from their jungle refuge by rain and forced to surrender. The moral is, of course: Forrjet your rifle if you must , Omit to cleanse the thing of rustj But whatever you do, my fine f( stout fella,” Don’t go to tear without an umbrella. Nobody can accuse the Nicaraguans of having insufficient brains to know when to come in out of the rain, anyway. * ♦ * “AND A GOOD COOK, TOO ” “G.E.” writes:—Everybody is re-cord-mad these days, but all other records pale into insignificance beside that held by Mr. H. Knott, of Ruakaka. He is a cook, “and a good cook, too/* and not one morning in the past nine years of service in P. and T. camps has “Old Harry” missed serving toast for breakfast. Out in the open, with the rain almost washing the bread out of his hands, he I has defied the elements and produced crisp toast. On one memorable occasion it took two men and half a tin of kerosene to light his fire, but the toast appeared as usual. It is a record, and, like his toast, it takes | some beating.