THE PRINCESS AND THE KITCHEN-MAID

Sun (Auckland), Volume II, Issue 400, 14 July 1928, Page 27

THE PRINCESS AND THE KITCHEN-MAID

Once upon a time there was a little princess called Puriana. hut it was difficult to believe that she was reail\ a princess at all. because she never dill or said any of the things princ-*'-'' usually says or does. For instance, if her Chief-Nannie-in - Waiting said: “What would you like to do this morning. Your Most Exalted Little Royal Highness?" she would n-<i say: “Sit in the Courthouse and help to make the laws.” or. * Embroider the silver christening robe for my little brother.” She would say: Make mud pies! ” If hot* Most High Coverness said: “What would Your Little Ora«ionsness like to learn to-day 7” she would reply; “How to wash up!** And if Ilis Mightiness the Royal Cite: said: “Wliat would Your Most Royal Daintiness like to eat to -day 7” she would reply: "Tripe, with lots and lots of onions!” I expect you will notice that ®he never said "Please”! In the kitchen of the Royal Palac* was another little girl, called Arlett* . with quite the opposite complaint. Sb« was a kitchenmaid, but to hear ho talk you would have thought she was a princess. When the Royal Chef said to her "There’s some lovely tripe lett over from the Princess’s dinner, and if you are a good girl you shall have some.” she would reply: "Thank you. but I couldn’t touch it. Could you spar«a little ambrosia, or a trifle of spiced turkey ?” And when the Chief Washer Up said: "Perhaps I’ll take you to the pictures this evening.” she would reply: "Thank you so very much, but couldn’t you please, take me to the Italian Opera i n stead, for though I do not understand • word of it, it has a very nice, refined sound!” I expect you will notice that she said both “please” and “thank you.” So the little Princess was not popular in the Throne Room, .ml tin- litt! kitchenmaid was not popular In thkitchen. It was the Queen’s idea that they should make a change. She arranged for Princess Puriana to go t • the kitchen and for Arlette to so to th. Throne Room. So much more suitabk she thought. She gave orders that when Arlett. went out for a drive in the royal carriage everybody was to curtsy to hei and if they didn’t, they were to b» sent to prison. Of course. nob««d> wanted to go to prison, so everybodv curtsied—all except one little boy Ji an independent turn of mind. He said: “Pooh! I’m not going t.» curtsy to Arlette. Why. I was a. school with her, and one day she had to stand in the corner for a whole morning because she would have it that Henry the Eighths only had four wives. I won’t won’t! 1 won’t! I won’t! The Queen was furious. She couldn't and a litti.- boy to «•'- course, but she got down out of her carriage and smacked him! After that there was no more trouble. Both the l’ttle girls were blisgftilly happy. The Queer thought she ought to offer Princess Pt. iana a chance to go back to the TJ«r« ig Room again, but when asked, the Princess said with her usual commonness: “Nofearnotmuch!” Arlette said: “How gracious of Your Majesty to offer me the opportunity * but if I may be permitted, I would rather stay where I am.” # So that was that.

“808 WHITE" Th© quail is such a funny bird, With hardly any tail; He hops and skips and jumps about. Upon the hill and dale: And all he sings from morn til! night. Is just ‘Bob White,” **Bob White,’ “Bob White!” RIDDLES Why is a restless sheep like ink? — Because it is always running from the pen. What bells never need answering?— Dumb-bells. What goes out and never conies in?— A fire. Why is twice ten like twice eleven?— Because twice ten make* twenty, and twice eleven, twenty-too (two).