FROM THE WATCH TOWER

Sun (Auckland), Volume II, Issue 389, 25 June 1928, Page 8

FROM THE WATCH TOWER

By ‘

“THE LOOKOUT MAN.”

“SORRY I’M LATE!” The residents of Hutt Valley have protested against the hanging of a bell at the Valley High School, arguing that it is likely to have a disturbing effect on an otherwise quiet neighbourhood. The petition will meet with the cordial approval of every pupil of the school, at all events. AN EX-AGENT GENERAL The death is announced of Sir Westby Perceval, who had the distinction of representing in London, as agent-general, two colonies, as they then were—-New Zealand and Tasmania. Sir Westby was educated in New Zealand and practised law in this country. He represented a Christchurch constituency in Parliament for some years. Later he was associated with two great expositions—at Chicago and Paris. Sir Westby returned to New Zealand on a holiday visit some few years ago. His publications include two books on the Dominion, one on farming and labour and the other on timber and forest products. THE LOSER DOES NJT PAY Germany was defeated in the World War. The price of her defeat, as measured in terms of national taxation, now works out at £5 6s 5d a head of her population. France, one of the victorious Allies, is taxed at the rate" of £8 5s lOd; America, the richest of them all, levies taxes on the people at the rate of £6 Is lid a head; while Great Britain, without a whimper and without black pessimism about her future, tops the Old World taxation score with £ls 2s 8d a head. It is difficult to reconcile these figures with the old, historic theory that the loser in war, as in love, pays. How did New Zealand fare In its share of victory? Its rate of taxation in the last year of official computation was £l2 5s 6d a head, but if the increased burden of local body rates be added, the total taxation in 1928 was £ls 19s 3d a head, compared with £6 16s 9d in 1913. The Dominion, according to economists, has to provide almost 20 per cent, of her total productive income for taxation. In war the winners pay. BACHELOR KINGS English kings and heirs to the British Throne have a habit of marrying early in life. Some of them, indeed, have married “early and often.” By comparison,, therefore, the Prince of Wales, single at 34, is a noteworthy exception, and the newspapers at Home usually contrive to tell him so each time his birthday comes round. This is rather unfair to the Prince, who after all, is the main party concerned. There have been single monarchs in England before to-day. William 11. bad no queen to share his throne. Edward V., of course, was murdered before reaching a marriageable age. Edward VI. died a bachelor. And Queen Elizabeth, whose reign, was one of the epochal events in Britain’s history, was a spinster. So why worry? Better to have a bachelor king than one like George 1., who kept his beautiful wife, Sophia Dorothea of Zell, a prisoner in Germany and brought over two fat Hanovarian soulmates to keep him company, or one like George IV.—the First Gentleman in Europe—who refused to allow his consort to participate in his coronation and had the doors of Westminster Abbey shut in her face!

NON COUP ABLE ' Apropos of murders in France, an English “"colyumist” claims to be able to boil down the subsequent proceedings to essential details. The procedure is this: 1. —Man seen to shoot another with automatic revolver. 2. —Body examined; victim found to be dead. 3. —Man arrested under protest. Sings bar of “La Marseillaise.” Agent de police weeps. 4. —Bearded detectives reconstruct the crime. They agree that as the prisoner was seen to fire a revolver at the victim, the 1 former was probably the culprit. 5. —Court of assizes. Crime reconstructed again. Prisoner yells defiance at bearded witnesses. 6. —Court resumes sitting. Prosecuting counsel proves that prisoner is not only guilty of murder, but has spoken libellously of M. Poincare’s efforts to stabilise the franc. 7. —Court sits again. Defending counsel proves that prisoner has only fired two bullets from automatic pistol when he might have fired six. He then adds that prisoner was in love with victim’s fiancee, and as latter did not reciprocate, it was necessary to slay somebody. Therefore, as victim happened to be handy, and prisoner was in a hurry to go to lunch, the latter had vindicated himself as a lover and a Frenchman in the approved way. 8. —Loud cheers from audience. Jury acquits prisoner. Judge kisses prisoner on both cheeks. Prisoner stands firm. All's well, and everybody’s happy.