Mundane Musings

Sun (Auckland), Volume II, Issue 355, 16 May 1928, Page 4

Mundane Musings

The Panacea “You know,” said Linda, “you may not believe me, but it was not until Miraculo came into my life that I discovered I had never really lived. Darling, I cannot conceal it any longer. I love Miraculo.” We were sitting beside a cosy fire, and it was the half-light hour between the entire fading of day and the switching on of the lights, when the secrets of the heart are most often revealed. I received Linda’s confession in the same emotional key in which it had been given. I reached out my hand, meaning to press hers with silent understanding; but Linda, thinking I wanted th© poker, courteously placed that implement in it, and so spoiled a really charming moment. “I am so glad, Linda,” I said. “There is nothing like a strong man’s love for curbing one’s tendency to pull one’s mashie shots. What is his other name?’

“Whose ?” “Miraculo’s. By the way, is he a film fetar, or an organ-grinder?” “My dear H., you are absurd. Miraculo isn’t a man. It’s an unguent.” “Bless you, Linda,” I cried with sincere fervour, “for saying that word. All my life I have had to avoid introducing it into my conversation because I didn’t know how to pronounce it.”

“Then,” said Linda., “it is just as well you have learned how to pronounce it, because you will have to introduce it into your conversation a lot in future. Miraculo is by far the most important thing that ha's happened to me for years. How J existed before I knew Miraculo I have no idea.”

“It was Janet who first introduced me to Miraculo. I had violent toothache one evening when I was round at her place, and she gave me some to rub on my face. She’d been.using it to take out some fruit-stains from a tablecloth, and fortunately there was a little over, In half an hour my tooth-ache had disappeared.” “You don’t think it might have disappeared in any case?” I ventured.

“I know you’d say that. You’re always so beastly sceptical. But I don’t mind. Mirs.culo is far too established in the regard of all who have made its acquaintance (I quote from the cover) to be upset by the shallow criticism of those who haven’t.” “The next day I rushed out and bought a bottle of Miraculo for myself. I started putting it to all the uses suggested for it in the book of words. I put a few drops in the bath and at once acquired the perfect complexion you now see, and in the same process lost the tinge of neuritis in my left shoulder. By applying some Miraculo to my scalp I made my hair bright, glossy and vigorous. I cleaned my shoes with it, and they shone as never before. By washing my silk stockings in water with Miraculo I prevented them from laddering. Thinking I was getting a little fat I massaged myself with Miraculo according to directions and got thinner. Then, thinking I was getting a little thin, I massaged myself according to the directions with Miraculo and got fatter.

“I started cleaning my golf clubs with Miraculo, and the moral effect of their gleaming faces was so great that I won the last bogey competition. I found the tulip bulbs I had put down in bowls were lagging in growth, so I ga,ve them Miraculo and in a few days they shot up several inches. My landlady, having an attack of faintness one evening, I applied Miraculo to the soles of her feet, and she revived instantly.

* * * “Do not think, H., that the effects of Miraculo are confined to those of a merely utilitarian order. A little Miraculo applied behind the ears, by removing fatigue and increasing vitality, results in attaining that charm of manner which is the greatest asset any woman can possess. Why, for instance, did plain Lulu suddenly become the popular member of the family, and carry off the handsome Rudolph de Sheik in the very teeth of all her envious sisters?” “I don’t know. Perhaps they hadn’t washed their teeth with Miraculo —or perhaps they had.” “I consider it merely bad taste to be flippant on a serious subject. It was because Lulu had taken to applying Miraculo behind the ears night and morning. I have been applying it myself regularly sine© I read about Lulu, and the increased charm of manner on which you have so far failed to comment is the result.” “But the wonderful adaptability of Miraculo was proved most conclusively when I spilt some of th e Miraculo itself on my evening dress, and it made little yellow stains. For a moment I didn’t know what to do. Then, in a flash, the remedy occurred to me, and I removed the Miraculo stains quite easily.” “How, Linda?” “Simply by applying Miraculo to them, of course.” METHODIST GUILD SALE OF WORK There was a good attendance of members and friends at the meeting of the Papatoetoe Methodist Women’s Guild, held in the Methodist Hall, Kolmar Road, yesterday afternoon. Stalls were erected in the hall, and good business was reported from ai quarters. - The following members were in charge: Sewing stall, Mesdames Nesbit and Oliver; cake stall, Mrs. H. Bryant; sweet stall, Mrs. F. Partridge; produce stall, Mesdames Dawson and Hardley. During the function afternoon tea was served by the members of the committee. A very enjoyable musical programme included items by Mrs. Hill, Mrs. Scarborough, Misses Ruby Wallace, Grinter, Master Redshaw, Miss Cook, Mrs. F. E. Carr, Miss R. Daisley, Master and Miss Bonner. A very interesting address was delivered by the Rev. Silvester.

BRIDGE PARTY On Saturday Mr. and Mrs. Jack McGovern gave a very enjoyable bridge party at their house in Te Awamutu. Mrs. McGovern received her guests in a frock of lavender »beaded georgette. Those present were Mr. and Mrs. Bevin, Mr. and Mrs. B. Mandeno, Mr. and Mrs. H. Lord, Mr. and Mrs. Alan Storey, Mr. and Mrs. W. Jeffrey, Dr. and Mrs. Clough Blundell, Mr. and Mrs. J. Oliphant, Mr. and Mrs. S. Rickett, Mr. and Mrs. L. Chamberlain, Mesdames L. G. Armstrong, G. J. Hall, Hawkins, Reese, Mayne, Dawson, Potts' Hall, C. R. Taylor (Auckland), Griffiths, Misses M. Quin, E. Peake, R. Lord, H. Foche, E. Chittenden, J.’ Elliott, and Messrs. Foche and Otway. HUNT BALL The Hautapu hall was the scene of a very jolly hunt ball on Saturdav evening. The hall was gay with multi-coloured streamers and palms The Kit Kat Orchestra suppplied excellent music. Among those pre.sent were* gette s ' E ' Souter " ,n b!ack beaded georMrs. H. Crowther, wearing silver vrev georgeUe, with touches of scarlet gette S ' P ' Swayne ’ in shell pink georgeurgetteT" °' Cubis - ,n flame ar >d gold Mrs. C. Peake, burgundy satin. geor r gette yan <Te Kuiti) ’ turquoise blue Mrs. Johns, hydrangea blue ninon. Mrs. Gorrie (Auckland), black embossed taffeta. * Mrs. G. Ranstead, pink georgette, worked in silver. Mrs. Loughlin, persimmon coloured panne. gette ß- J ' McNicol > fiesb pink beaded georMrs. T. Hines (Te Aroha), black georgette, relieved with Jade. Mrs. IV. Ranstead, black laco over coral. Mrs. Porritt, black accordeon-pleated ninon. Miss A. Brown, black georgette. Miss J. Clemow, sea green, georgette. Miss N. Monckton, black ring velvet. Miss B. Crowther, shaded pink georgette. Miss M. Finlayson (Whangarei), blue georgette, embroidered in silver sequins. Miss Osborne, geranium georgette. Miss M. Souter, flesh pink georgette, and ecru lace. Miss J. Veale, black georgette, embroidered in gold. Miss I. Baker, black bouffant taffeta. Miss N. Taylor, ivory lace over apple green. Miss A. Nelson, black taffeta. Miss E. Langton, gold ring velvet. Miss P. Gorrie (Auckland), bois de rose crepe de chine and georgette. Miss H. Crowther. soft blue georgette. Miss N. Fisher, black georgette. Miss R. Souter, beige lace and coral. Miss Pilkington, black georgette beaded in silver. Miss B. Manning, deep beige coloured lace over pink, with pink sash. Miss Buckland, black taffeta frock. Miss Clarkin, goblin blue satin and silver. Miss C. Bertleson, black georgette. Miss Aislabie (Te Aroha), powder blue georgette. Miss Jackson, black georgette. Miss Gretchen Hulme, black panne velvet. Miss Gwen Hulme, gold taffeta. Miss R. Davies, black ring velvet. MORNING TEA On Wednesday morning Mrs. H. Douglas, president of the Lyceum Club, gave a very enjoyable tea at the Wattle Tea Rooms to the outgoing members of the club committe. There were present: Mesdames H. Douglas, H. J. Greenslade, Melville, Bell, H. J. McMillen, W. J. Stevens, 11. Walder, W. Hume, R. B. Cranweli, J. Page, F. M. Spencer, and Misses N. Drake, Hodgson, M. Stevens, and G. Wyatt-