FROM THE WATCH TOWER

Sun (Auckland), Volume II, Issue 354, 15 May 1928, Page 8

FROM THE WATCH TOWER

By “THE LOOK-OUT MAN.” P All? STAKING “Both are qualified in tlieir arduous and painstaking work,” remarked a Sun writer of two lady dental officers. Painsgiving work, too, no doubt; but we must be cruel to be kind sometimes. HORSE DE COMBAT One of tbe horses in the sensational Grand National Steeplechase in England, when all but two fell, was named De Combat. An English paper publishes a picture of the animal standing on its head at one of the jumps. It was then Horse de Combat. NOT OBJECTIONABLE A man travelling from Hamilton to Cambridge by train recently was said to have made himself very objectionable to passengers, “even falling off the train at one stage of the journey.” Surely there was nothing to object to in that! HOW MANY BEESI “Gee!” ejaculated little Bill on being informed that tbe steamer Mamari was taking 58 tons of honey to London, “I wonder bow many bees it took to make that?” None could answer, but to cover up our ignorance, one of us-told tbe tale of the 11-year-old Red Indian boy who instantly and correctly answer such questions as this: — “If in a hundred acres of wheat there are 28,497,321 ears of grain, and in each ear there are 32 grains,<--how much would be realised by tbe sale of same at l|d a pound of 8,739 grains.” Little Bill said if that was the sort of stuff they were going to put in the new syllabus, he would “wag it” from school. £ 1 3s A DRINK

It was claimed for a driver who was charged at the Otahuhu Police Court with negligent driving that although he had consumed eight bottles of beer, his driving ability was not affected. That should be very comforting to drivers generally; to have it indicated that four quarts of beer is a safe allowance for a man in charge of a car should please those who drive cars and be perfectly satisfactory to the licensees of wayside hotels. Still, the magistrate in the case referred to convicted the motorist and fined him £5, with £4 7s costs, so that if drivers take the risk of swallowing the four-quart theory, they are liable to discover that beer costs £1 3s 4j|d a pint bottle before the Bench, plus tbe 9d a bottle originally charged before the Bar. AIDINO THE FARMER. The Government is to -be commended for rendering really practical aid to farmers who suffered from the protracted dry spell recently ended. Where there is shortage of winter feed for dairy cattle, free railage of hay will be arranged for farmers who are so situated financially that they cannot afford to pay transport costs. This generous concession will be available during the winter and next spring. Wisely enough, the Government is guarding against possible imposition by requiring that applicants for this assistance shall sign a form undertaking that the whole of the hay carried free shall be used for the sole purpose of feeding their own dairy stock, that sufficient feed is not otherwise available, and that the beneficiaries are not financially able to bear tbe cost of railage. The man on the land may have some genuine grievances against the Government, but on this occasion he has something to be extremely thankful for. HE RHINE OF THE COTTON GLOVE Persistency has its reward. A particularly persistent person is her would-be Imperial Majesty Hermine, wife to the ex-Kaiser, and the very latest writer of Royal memoirs. Nothing aggravates the Princess-Empress more than she should not receive the homage due to her “exalted” position, despite the fact that German Monarchists, in the main, refuse to acknowledge her. The editor of a Dutch paper bought from the literary agents of the ex-Kaiser’s wife these memoirs, which she dictated to an American journalist, and published under the title of "Memoirs of the Princess Hermine.” He received a sharp note from the marshal of the Doom Court pointing out that the authoress was not “Princess,” hut “Empress”—which he should have already known as he had already received a letter from a person who subscribed himself “Private Secretary to her Majesty tbe Kaiserin and Queen.” “Be sure you say ‘Majesty’ and kiss her hand,” were tbe instructions given by the marshal to a recent caller at Doom. “So I called her ‘Majesty,’ ” he subsequently related, “and kissed her cotton glove,” SON OF A STRONG MAN Flight-Lieut. Bentley, who flew with bis wife on a honeymoon trip to London, is the son of a Capetown barber, formerly well .known to the L.O.M. in the dual capacity of hair remover and physical culture instructor. The Sandow craze had firm hold of the youth of Capetown in the days when the L.O.M. adolesced in the mountain city and Bentley’s tiny saloon used to be crowded at all times of the day by young men testing their strength with the weights and barbells which strewed the floor, under the direction of the master. Bentley was “only a handful,” but what a handful! Weighing only about Sst., he felt like a steel man, every muscle developed like part of a machine, and he handled immense weights with tbe ease of a Goliath. Around tbe walls of the saloon were hung numerous photographs of the little strong man m different poses, revealing his muscular perfection. He had some nervous affliction which kept him continually blinking his eyes, and be was almost quite bald, despite his persistent recommendation of a certain hairrestorer which he kept for sale. “Funny little chap!” one would say, not knowing him. A coloured cabdriver made the mistake of considering him too cheaply one night. Bentley stooped and overturned the cab, driver and all, in one swift lift.