THE OPPORTUNIST

Sun (Auckland), Volume II, Issue 352, 12 May 1928, Page 21

THE OPPORTUNIST

I like to call On Gussie Weaf Her p a is blind. Her ma is deaf.

A Sticky Subject —Assistant: V lady has just brought in a flashy pasta necklace and wants to know whether it s made of real diamonds or not " Jeweller: “Does she look like a married woman?” "Yes.” . “ T e," , hpr U is ' Xo UKO rnakin* trouble for poor husbands these hard times.” Union Rules for Sandwich Boards. —A well-meaning pedestrian said to a man who was employed to advertise on the street: “Pardon me. but do you know that your sandwich boards £tre turned wrong side out?” “Sure. I know it,” whs the snappv reply. “Yer don’t suppose I’m goiii’ to work in me lunoli hour, do yer?” —Boston Transcript. Optimistic Pessimist. (’handler, the chairman of the cheese companv was something of a diplomat, and at one of the hoard meetings had been y r y expansive about prospects. “‘Yen its always prospects," remarked a gloomy shareholder, always prospects but never results. I begin to doubt if results will ever come.” “Oh. Mr. Browne.” said the chairman. “You are a pessimist.” “I ran't deny it.” agreed the other pessimist is a man who has had too much to do with optimists.”