FROM THE WATCH TOWER

Sun (Auckland), Volume II, Issue 335, 21 April 1928, Page 8

FROM THE WATCH TOWER

By “THE LOOK-CUT MAN.” j ■'HIGHLY COLOURED ” Mr. L. B. Campbell, District Public j Works Engineer, says that some of j the statements made in The Sun regarding portions of the Great South Road were “highly coloured.” Mr. Campbell ought to hear the language of some of those who have to bump over these portions of the road. NOT FOR A POPPY When walking along Queen Street yesterday, making brave display of his poppy, a friend of ours met a friend of his —a “hard-boiled” individual, looking at this particular moment somewhat despondent. “Can you lend me a shilling?” he asked. Our friend, having strong teetotal leanings, inquired what the shilling was required for. “To tell you the truth,” replied the would-be borrower, “Xj want it to buy a poppy with —l’m ashamed to be . seen without one.” “Oh!” said our friend, obligingly, “take mine, and I’ll buy another,” and he reached to his buttonhole. “ your poppy,” said the “hard-boiled” one, and he moved off in search of a more promising bank. POLICE FOR SAMOA Many people gazed with startled eyes this morning at groups of martiallooking young men parading the city —and wondered if it were all a dream, and whether the war was not really over. These young men, they were informed, were for Samoa. But, they asked, did we not capture Samoa — how many years ago? Oh, yes; but these were recruits for the large new police force, equipped in uniform of tropical khaki, complete with ammunition belt, bayonet-holster and all. The Samoans, it appeared, hadn’t been good children lately. Then the Aucklanders smiled and went about their business, hoping that the Samoans would see the humour of it, too. RESOURCEFUL DRIVER Passengers to Tauranga by the Matangi were compensated for a stormy night and a late arrival on a recent trip by the humours of the local railway. The train, which had been delayed till eight o’clock for the boat, set out with the usual two or three trucks and carriages, but the engine was unable to haul her load up the incline to the bridge, owing to the slippery rails. Much to the amusement of the onlookers, the fireman jumped out of the engine with a fire shovel in his hand and proceeded in front of the engine shovelling gravel on the line, and amid much smoke and steam, and to the accompaniment of puffs and pants, the “express” made the bridge.

—S. P. Andrew, photo. WHEN IS HE DRUNK? The long-debated point as to when is a man drunk has again arisen, this time in a London police court, when a magistrate dismissed the charge against a driver whom a doctor described as “drunk as a motorist, sober as a pedestrian.” It is suggested that for the purposes c? the law a man should be regarded os drunk when he is incapable of doing the work on which he was engaged at the time specified in the charge. If- this is adopted, special officers will have to be engaged to test the capabilities of drivers who at first glance are considered to be drunk. Th \t will mean a few nice little billets for Aucklanders, to reinforce the traffic staff. It is presumed that if a sobe*r pedestrian can’t drive a car, he is drunk; and if a drunken motorist can drive a car, he is sober. The thing is really quite simple. “METH" FOR TRENCH FEET

The excuse of a vagrant, that he bought methylated spirits for his “trench feet.” and not to drink, was scorned by a magistrate in the Auckland Police Court. In this case, doubtless, the “meth” was meant for internal application, but it was a regular remedy as a preventive of trench feet during the war. Rubbing with thick whale oil, liberally applied, was for some time the standard prescription in France, and the men began to wonder which was the worst, trench feet or whale-oil feet. They found the “meth” far more comforting. Many thousands of the cakes of solidified spirits provided for the little lamps over which the soldiers boiled (or attempted to boil)' water for cocoa or coffee were used by their recipients to rub their feet with, and in this way they could scarcely have filled a more useful purpose.