A JEST OR TWO

Sun (Auckland), Volume II, Issue 318, 31 March 1928, Page 25

A JEST OR TWO

Hints For Dog Owners. —He was boring lier to tears when in came her dog. ‘•Ah,” he exclaimed, you taught him any more tricks?” “Yes.” she said sweetly, “if you whistle he will bring your hat.” When Regularly Renewed.—“ls it true that statistics prove women live longer than men ?” “Well, you know paint is a great preservative.” A Stinging Reply.—Prof, (in biology) : “What animal makes the nearest j approach to man?” ' Student: “The mosquito.” Used To It.—Folios Chief: ‘Well, did you work the third degree on that guy, as I told you?” Detective: “Sure we did; we bullyragged and criss-crossed, and tormented and badgered him every way we could think of.” “And —what did he have to say?” “He just sort of dozed off and muttered ‘S’ all right, Maria; s’ all right —have it your own way.’ ”

No But Some are Green. —“l can’t see why they speak of the wisdom of the serpent.” “Well, you never heard of a serpent getting its leg pulled, did you?” » * • A Flat Joke. —Bridget ( weeping j “Someone told my Pat that he could get his pants pressed by allowing a steam roller to run over them ” “Well, what of it?” “Pat forgot to take the pants off.” • • • A Short Circuit. —Schoolmaster: “What would you call a man who hides behind a woman’s skirts?” Boy. “A magician, sir.” * * • Hot Stuff.—Guest (to the manager): “The minute I came in, sir, the waiter poured a plate of hot soup over me.” Innkeeper (to waiter): “You shouldn’t greet the guests so warmly. Fritzy.” • * • The Morning Promenade.—Defendant: “I’m not guilty. My wife can prove a lullaby.” Judge: “Alibi, you mean.” “Begging your pardon, it was a lullaby. At two o’clock on the rooming in question I was walking the floor with the baby.”