TOPICAL TIT-BITS

Sun (Auckland), Volume II, Issue 312, 24 March 1928, Page 26

TOPICAL TIT-BITS

Alistletoe, briefly a glorious opporUm .™.\ s once again a mere parasite. Philadelphia Evening Public Ledger.” Civilisation has contrived to refine everything about petroleum except its methods.—“ Nelson (8.C.) News.” The only men whose political opinions differ widely now are those vWio belong to the same party.— Bakersfield Californian.” * * • There were 232 murders in eight months in Mayor Thompson’s metropohs, including, we that of the King’s English.—“ Brooklyn Eagle.” The homes are said to be failing in their greatest duty, but at least they keep places open where the children can come home to slaep.—“Newark (Ohio) Advocate.” The l ©semblance of women to angels may be more pronounced than that of men. but so far no woman h is been able to fly across the ocean.— “Memphis Commercial Appeal.”

tor: “Here you are son." Passenger: “How dare you call me ‘son’?-— you re not my father.” Operator: “Well, 1 brought you up, didn’t I?” • * • Whether He Needs It or Not.--“Where do you bathe?” In tne spring.” “I did not ask you when i asked you where.” * * * Or Never Gets a Chance. —Ruth: you know that father has never spoKen a hasty word to mother?” Richara “How’s that?” Ruth: “He stutters. * * * Indispensable.—Willie: Hello-^ are you standing in front of the where you got tired from last weekwaiting to be taken back? ■,( Xot much —I just wanted to see they were still in business.

Taking Ways.—“We numerals from the Arabs, ui?calendar from the Romans. aS K*. one think of another example- frar ,’ the teacher. "Our lawnni - the- Jones, and our baby c a the Browns,” Willie answer * i jjche”' An Unenviable Reputation.—i inspector asked a pupil t un d* r ' as nearly as possible 'y.“ a iljfr ißi 1* ! stood by “a pilgrim.” A J j dea 1 - I man who goes about a » i was the reply. This seen* .. n d Jr : satisfactorv to the inspector- . put i “I SO about » «»Si #.■ ■am not a pilgrim. the «**' i menu a good man. I addition.