FROM THE WATCH TOWER

Sun (Auckland), Volume I, Issue 292, 1 March 1928, Page 10

FROM THE WATCH TOWER

By “THE LOOK-OUT MAN.” SLOT PHONES FOR SHOPS The public telephone service is to be extended by the installation of slot telephones in shops, to be available for use during hours of business. Naturally there will be a rush of applicants for these conveniences, as everv user of the phone will be a possible purchaser of some commodity. “Kissing goes by favour.” Yes; but will these telephones? Or will they be placed just where they will be most convenient? There was a great deal of dissatisfaction at the manner in which certain shops were selected by the tramway authorities for the sale of tickets. The hope need be expressed in good time that the Post and Telegraph Department will see to it that there is no cause for similar dissatisfaction in regard to its new and enterprising departure. * * * CONSTABLE GRUNDY The euchre players of Christchurch are indignant at the prosecution of euchre tournament promoters, which they declare to be “police dictatorship.” The police, they say, are setting themselves up as moralists, and are endeavouring to regulate the morals of the community. They ought to seek Commissioner Mcllveney about this. The commissioner would probably promulgate an order for the issue of clerical collars to the force. In combination with the shako it should prove most effective. * * * HOUSING IN AFRICA A perusal of South African new spapers takes the mind back to the conditions prevailing in Auckland six or seven years ago. It is estimated that Capetown, which has a population of about the same as that of Auckland, is 6,000 houses short of its proper accommodation, besides which it requires 900 new houses a year to meet the natural increase in population. Coloured people form about half the residents of the city and its environs, and it is with these that the problem is most acute, 27,000 of the number living four or more to a room. Thirty per cent, of the European population are living two or more to a room. The low price quoted for houses in a suggested building scheme will stagger Aucklanders —from £2OO to £3OO each for family cottages. It costs that in Auckland for a small “bach.” Despite the housing shortage, Capetown had a record year for building in 1927, plans for work to cost over £ 3^000,000 being approved by the authorities. ... HANGINGS ON THE STAGE The execution scene in a drama staged at a London suburban theatre, in which the retired hangman, Ellis, enacted the part of the executioner with gruesome fidelity, excited such a commotion that questions were asked in the House of Commons. The reply of the Home Secretary was to the effect that there was no law to prevent ex-hangmen becoming “actors.” It is a shuddersome thing this hanging and mock 'executions on the stage do not set a high standard of taste. Still, it is not so very long ago that they hanged men—and women, too, for that matter —in public, and thousands of people used to flock to see the unfortunate wretches die. As for the LookOut Man, having witnessed three real executions in the course of his newspaper duties, he would riot now willingly witness the hanging scene in a Purich arid Judy show. a? as % as % % % % as as as as as as

& % aWHEN THE SERMON HALTS Recent instances of disorderly interruptions to church services in England prompt recollections of a more humorous .nature. One young man was very brief, and very emphatic, when Dean Inge was preaching at Birmingham recently. “Bosh:” he ejaculated, and left the church. On another occasion, a well-known canon was preaching on the wonderful products of Nature, with an array of fruits and vegetables on the pulpitledge to illustrate his remarks. “This vegetable marrow, my brethren he said. He was promptly pulled up. “That hain’t a marrer; it’s a pumpkin,” challenged a farmer. That sermon ended with prayer. Another English preacher concluded by asking “And now, my friends, what does all I have said amount to?” The answer came pat, in an emhpatic “Now’t!” “We must listen to the call of our brethren,” insisted a preacher in a seaside church. “Listen to his call'” Just then a donkey outside gave a loud and prolonged bray! If it is wicked to laugh in church, that congregation was very wicked. Dean Hole, of Rochester, relates that, when addressing a couple he had just married, he emphasised that it took two to make a quarrel, and asked: “What should a husband do if a wife upsets him?” Through an open window came a voice: “Sit on 'er ’ead, you fool 1 ” Out on the road a horse had fallen down, and a blunt critic was giving advice to the driver!