FROM THE WATCH TOWER

Sun (Auckland), Volume I, Issue 285, 22 February 1928, Page 8

FROM THE WATCH TOWER

By

“THE LOOK-OUT MAN.”

CLOTHES AXD THE MAX A visitor from abroad writes borne: "Dear Dad, —This morning was muggy —decidedly muggy. As the crowds poured out of the Auckland trains on to the platforms of the palatial station that is the admiration of all beholders, the men looked miserably uncomfortable, and the girls quite at ease. The men wore clothing which weighed : pounds; the sleeveless short frocks of the girls weighed ounces. Some of the men, not content with ordinary heavy clothing, had double-breasted coats, high, close-fitting collars and (to block any air getting through the ‘V’ of their waistcoats), huge ties, which hid their shirts. Under these shirts, I am informed, they wear woollen singlets. This is what you might call a sub-tropical climate, and this is February, the hottest month of the year. I motored past the Mental Hospital yesterday. It is not nearly large enough.” HOW MODEST WE ARE Explaining the peculiar fact (?) that New Zealand’s percentage of prison population is “ten times higher than that of New South Wales,” Mr. Cutten, S.M., states that “we have the most efficient police force in the world.” This super-modesty has ever been a distinguished feature of New Zealanders, from politicians downward —or upward. “In this country,” says Mr. Cutten, “there are few people not in gaol who ought to be there.” Per contra, there may be a good few there who ought not to be there. The implication, of course, is that the police of New South Wales are incompetent or slack, and that many more people (possibly ten times more) should be in the gaols of the Commonwealth’s Mother State. It is a beautiful and a neighbourly thought. * * * AT THE THEATRE One of the chief delights of those who arrive at a theatrical performance in reasonable time is to see and witness the arrival of those who arrive after the curtain goes up. The latecomers add a real joy to the entertainment by drowning the voices of the performers and thereby obscuring the opening stages of the “story.” They walk proudly with musicallyclattering heels and swishing of wraps, to their seats, which are vigorously slammed down for them by the attendants. Before sitting (almost invariably they have front seats), they stand and survey the stage, and get in some early criticism, to the intense interest of those seated behind. It is a growing Idea that “the best people” should arrive late and thus demonstrate to the proletariat the prestige, grace, politeness and consideration of its superiors. THE CAVE MAN The Vegetarian’s household was plunged in dismay, for at dinner there had been a discussion over the number of calories in one pint of Cork-Ho, an agreeable and Stimulating beverage full of proteids; and the Vegetarian had risen from the table and stalked upstairs. Next morning a ball of wool belonging to the Vegetarian’s wife was nowhere to be found. They hunted everywhere for It, and found it at length under the cushion of a chair in the drawing-room. And when they accused the Vegetarian of having hidden it there he drew himself up to his full height and folded his arms, and nodded his head. “I am, after all, a man,” he said quietly, “with all the passions of a man.” Moral: Beware of the sleeping tiger in us all. (D.8.W.L., in “The Daily Chronicle.”)

"AX EASY THIXO” A ratepayer of Mount Albert says there are 65 miles of roads in the borough of Mount Albert, and he asks how one building inspector and one drainage inspector ijan thoroughly patrol them—especially when the two officers have only one small car between them. “Builders have told me," he confided, “that Mount Albert is ‘the easiest thing in New Zealand,’ as far as they are concerned. They have only one inspection when they are putting up a building. How could there be more, with only one inspector for 65 miles of streets?” This, in the opinion of the ratepayer referred to, must necessarily leave an •opening for all kinds of abuses in borough must remove this reproach, building. Did we hear that contemptuous term “Jerry-buflt” uttered in regard to Mount Albert?