FROM THE WATCH TOWER

Sun (Auckland), Volume I, Issue 277, 13 February 1928, Page 8

FROM THE WATCH TOWER

By “THE LOOK-OUT MAN” ANOTHER CHANGE? “Crime in Auckland has decreased,” says Commissioner Mcllveney. It is now proposed that the name, Grey Avenue, should be changed back to Grey Street. “ BUTTING IN ” Dr. A. W. Hill, who was accused by a member of the Rangitoto Domain Board of “butting in,” is sticking to his guns. Further, he is now deprecating the fact that there are too many goats on Egmont. He is not tile first to make that discovery. BESIDE THE SEA Yachtsmen who sail close inshore are strongly criticised by North Shore bathers. With the whole wide sea for their domain, these occasional mariners must persistently take advantage of a high tide to scatter bathers along the crowded beaches. One of these days the bathers will take things into their own hands, and it will be a case of “standing by to repel boarders.” TOO FLEXIBLE __ Flexible pacts for the maintenance of European peace are proposed. The trouble with most international pacts seems to be that they are already too flexible. They not only bend, but break. BEAUTIFUL BUT DUMB There are unlimited possibilities in the latest developments of Irish justice. For instance: “Are you maliciously mute or just naturally dumb?” says the judge, to a prisoner who refuses to plead. “I’m dumb, sorr,” replies the prisoner. And in that case he certainly would be. BLOWN OUT An English doctor, testing a man for drunkenness, made him blow up a football bladder. A later examination of the bladder’s contents revealed that in two litres of breath was a milligramme and a-half of alcohol, showing that the man was 50 per cent, drunk. Something of this sort is re : commended to Commissioner Mcllveney. A toy balloon, a sample of the suspect’s breath, and the rest is easy. WHERE WAS “DUMMY”* The news that Bebe Daniels has been hurt in a motor accident, while doing a “stunt” scene, discounts the theory that “dummies,” either human or otherwise, are introduced as substitutes for stars when there is an element of danger. Perhaps the new arrangement is due to the high wages now demanded by dummies. A poor little film star has nothing to call her own. AN EXPLANATION I am asked (says a London writer) to contradict the report that the Paris acrobat who somersaulted over the footlights into the orchestra had a grievance against the second fiddle. This is absolutely a libel, ■ says the Acrobat. He never had any intention of injuring the second fiddle. The man he really aimed at was the side-drum. ** . * UNPOPULAR AT BAGDAD Sir Alfred Mond, the political knight who had to enter Bagdad through the back gate, is the son of -f German chemist, Ludwig Mond, who

went to England in 1862 to introduce a process for the recovery of sulphur from alkali waste. On this enterprise was founded the immense chemical concern of Brunner, Mond and Co. Sir Alfred Mond was elected M.P. for Chester in 1906, and was then a iLberal. Two years ago he paralysed his Liberal friends by going over to the Conservative party. Mr. Lloyd George probably thinks the unruly Bagdad mob is composed of highly discerning people. PATRIOTISM It is reported that Signor Mussolini was quite unperturbed when he heard that the famous Leaning Tower of Pisa' had bent a few more degrees away from the vertical. He regarded the gesture as a gallant attempt on the part of the tower to give the Fascist salute. BOOK REVIEWS * Among the brightest volumes of reminiscences of recent years is “One Dam Floor After Another,” by Humper Dinkel, the well-known lift attendant of the Megalo Building (Spiffer, 18s). “After 1 had come down from Oxford,” says Mr. Dinkel, “my parents wanted me to become an hotel commissionaire, but money-making made no appeal to me, and a thirst for adventure drew me to my present profession.” The reader will gather some impression of the contents of the book from chapter headings, such as: Mai de Mer in Mid-Air; the Lift that Wouldn’t (a dramatic happening when the lift stuck for 12 hours between'floors, and a foreign princess and two frothblowers had to be fed on raw macaroni sticks pushed through the bars); Too Late (the pathetic case of the Shellac King, whose face was inadvertently trapped in the lift gate, much to his indignation). Altogether a fascinating volume. I