Mundane Musings

Sun (Auckland), Volume I, Issue 267, 1 February 1928, Page 4

Mundane Musings

The Only Child According to that well-known Viennese psychologist. Dr. Alder, one can usually tell an only child, when it grows up, by certain marked traits in its character. Judging from my own experience, says an English writer, there is a good deal of truth in this theory. In a school one often finds that only children are “problem” children. They need careful study and special treatment. Unless a good deal of trouble is taken to understand them and deal with them accordingly, they will not grow up normal men and women. It is not difficult to understand why this is so. An only child occupies a peculiar position in the family. Parents, grandparents, uncles! aunts and cousins make it the centre of their attention. They take the keenest and most obvious interest in its growth and development. Every action of it to I the outside world is watched and noted with a sort of breathless wonder. Over-Anxious Parents Having only the one child, the parents are naturally over-anxious for it, and by surrounding it with an atmosphere of over-caution, they suggest all manner of fears and alarms to its growing mind. Unless something is done at school to counteract this morbid note of fatalism, the child may grow up timid and unadventurous — perhaps pessimistic, from the habit of looking on the darker side of things. The mother, in particular, is haunted by the dread of losing her precious only baby. As it grows older she cannot bear to feel that it is coming to rely on’ her less and less. Alarmed at the thought of losing it altogether, she does all she can to strengthen the emotional link which binds it to her, and thereby she checks its chances of becoming sturdily independent. As the years go by, the tendency grows for the mother to come in closer touch with her son, and the father with his daughter. The influence of the parent may become so strong that it vitally affects the child's marriage. Only daughters usually look for fathersubstitutes in their husbands, and only sons for mother-substitutes in their wives. In most cases far too much is done for the only child.- It is protected on every side and never encouraged to fend for itself, with the frequent result that it grows up helpless and soft. Having no brothers or sisters to rub off the sharp corners, it naturally becomes self-centred and egotistical. Accustomed to monopolise the attentions of an adoring family, it demands admiration, approval and lavish affection as its natural right. Too Much Limelight The only child’s liberal allowance of limelight will either make it want to take the centre of" the stage on every possible occasion, or will drive it to hide in the wings. If it is an “extrovert” it will develop an exhibition complex; it will want always to be a popular fdol, and it will have little or no idea of following or obeying anyone else. But if it is an “introvert” it w T ill become excessively timid and retiring, and may in the end withdraw altogether from playing any real part in life. The child, in fact, may become quite abnormal, especially if it is denied the companionship of children of its own age in place of brothers and sisters. Too much adult society is a bad thing for a child, because it forces the growth of its intelligence before it has developed its psychological side, or learned to control its emotions. Only children are often handicapped in yet another way. Parents are very fond of trying to make up for any shortcomings in their own early opportunities by heaping up a credit balance with their children. A father who has been hampered in life by his own lack of education vows that his son shall have the best that school and university can provide. He is ridiculously fussy about the boy’s progress in his studies. On the other hand, if he happens to have had a hard time in his own childhood, he heaps gifts on his child w T ith both hands. In almost every direction an only child may be hampered and bound by the oppressive solicitude of its parents. .What Is The Remedy? Here, then, is the case of the only child. What is the remedy for it, from the parents’ point of view? Obviously, the best remedy of all is not to have an only child. In these days of high costs there is an idea that people of limited means can only do justice to one child. It is a very questionable theory. It is very doubtful indeed whether a child does not lose more in the lack of brothers and sisters to aid its character development than it gains by the extra money which can be lavished upon it. Parents of only children must be very careful to avoid psychological errors, and this will demand great selfsacrifice, especially on the part of the mother. It is not easy to encourage one’s only child to be independent along every possible line, and to send it away from home at an early age. Certainly by the age of three it should go to some kindergarten, or nursery school, to mix with other children. If there is any discord in the home, parents should take the greatest care not to fall into open conflict —each parent trying to attach the child especially to him or herself and unconsciously striving to get the child to see things from his or her point of view. In some cases the right course may be to send the child away to a board - ing school at a very early age. That is a thing which calls for a great deal of self-sacrifice. But the parents of an only child must be very self-sacri-ficing, very wise and very much awake to the difficulty of the situation.

POLITICAL STATUS OF WOMEN IN HUNGARY Madame Marczali-Gali has something: to say concerning the present political status of women in her native Hungary, says an exchange. After much agitation a certain measure of suffrage was given, but it is rather intricate and confusing. The women voters include those who are over 30 and can prove a certain amount of education, women university graduates, whatever their age, and married women with three children. The mother of two children must wait, but we must be thankful that male legislators did not consider Lady Macbeth’s preference for male children and decide by that only. The Hungarian lady points out that in feudal times, which lasted much longer than in England, women had greater rights to property than later, widows being especially considered. Also their political rights were extensive. As one example, women could be lord lieutenants, and it was a woman lord lieutenant, Anne Bathory, who called together the first Protestant Sunbod in Hungary'. Women also could send their own representatives to Parliament, the great KLossuth having been sent there by a woman. As a result, there are perhaps more national heroines in Hungary than in any other country. A woman, Madame Karacs, was the first to agitate concerning the sufferings of the peasants, yet when these were remedied and there was a new constitution, women were left out. However, now they are struggling back, though with humiliating restrictions. . “THE SONG OF THE SHIRT” SWEATED LABOUR • “I never knew that a state of affairs of this sort existed in this country/’ said Mr. Reginald Friend at Clerkenwell County Court, London, when Olive Skellitt, a young machinist, claimed from Mr. Alfred Moont, maker of women’s tailored garments (sued as a firm), of Stroud Green, £1 3s for work done. “If this is what the tailoring trade is like,” added Registrar, “the sooner there is some trade inquiry into what they are doing the better. It seems to me a most glaring instance of the worst type of sweated labour.” Mr. Moont's manager said that some of the girl’s work was not done properly, 18 garments requiring to be altered. Skellitt left without notice. The Registrar: She is a pieceworker, and notice is not necessary. How much money do the 18 garments represent? “Twenty-five shillings.” “Then it might be that at the end of the week she might owe you money. Why does she have to pay for her own cotton?” The Manager: It is a rule of the trade. He said, in reply to another question, that the girl had to pay for her needles. Skellitt stated that eight shillings were stopped because she had a girl to help her with the linings. The Registrar: It is a curious state of affairs that in this trade a gi,rl earning 30 shillings a week is expected to pay for part of the materials. I hope that it will be noted by the proper authorities, and that it will be stopped. I understood that sweated labour had been done away with; apparently it has not. The Registrar found Skellitt for £1 3s 3d.