FROM THE WATCH TOWER

Sun (Auckland), Volume I, Issue 253, 16 January 1928, Page 8

FROM THE WATCH TOWER

By

“THE LOOK-OUT MAN”

CHEOPS’S MOTHER-IN-LAW Search of the tomb of Hetephere has failed to discover the mummy of the mother of Cheops. It is reported, however, that the mummy of another Royal lady was found. It had abnormal jaw development and an enormous mouth cavity, capable of accommodating a gigantic tongue. At one period the jawbone had been badly fractured. As Cheops was treputed to have had a quick temper, it is suspected that the mummy is that of the pyramid-builder’s mother-in-law. ANOTHER BULL FIGHTER There is unsuspected talent in our Cabinet. None knew until the last general eiection that our Prime Minister used to be a daredevil at rodeo (not radio) feats, that he could throw a bull with his naked hands, and often rode them barebacked for the fun of the thing. It was left for thfe publicity director of the Reform Party (that clever “Coates and Confidence” chap) to tell the electors that. Now we discover—quite by accident —that our Minister of Agriculture is also a cattle-mesmeriser. Stuck up on a precipitous road by four fierce bullocks (which snapped the pole to which they were chained), Mr. Hawken leapt lightly from his car, and went to the heads of the. bullocks. The wild beasts trembled and stood still. Modestly, Mr. Hawken merely remarked: “I know something about bullocks!” Mr. Hawken, it appears, was once acquainted with the ways of bullocks in the Klondyke. There are some tight-rope walkers in the Cabinet, too. It only needs a clown now to be a regular circus. * * * “THE COLONEL” Oh, talking about bullocks, we nearly forgot that “The Colonel” was there, too! Heroically, he followed the Minister from the car to grapple with the bullocks. We refer to our good friend, colonel Allen Bell. There is talk of his being opposed for the Bay of Islands seat by quite a variety of politicians and would-be politicians. Bold men be these who would oppose “The Colonel.” Is he not firmly enthroned in the hearts of the people of Kaitaia and Kaikohe, not to mention Ruapekapeka, the Poor Knights and other centres of culture and of learning? Did he not get them the railway from Nowhere to Worldsend; did he not get them the 40-mile road through the kauri forest; did he not get their climate that has earned for the Northland the name of the Winterless North; did he not get them the swordfish which haunt the seas and which brings American millionaires to spend , their money among them; and is his own good sword not always at their service? Now, we ask them. And is he not “the only pebble on the beach”? Well, the Prime Minister told him he wasn’t one day, in the House. “I’m the pebble that keeps your party in office, anyway,” repliefi “The Colonel.” And he was, too.

“PUKED!” — Mr. J. H. Mostyn, ex-Lord Mayor of Sydney, is a man who gets his own way. When the Duke and Duchess of York visited Sydney, the edict went forth that Mr. Mostyn was. not to wrap himself in ermine for the occasion, but was to receive the distinguished visitors in his ordinary workaday attire. Mr. Mostyn had other ideas, and when the day arrived, behold him resplendent in all the trappings of lord-mayoralty! The situation was saved and Sydney breathed again. But the aftermath was not pleasant for the Lord Mayor, who had to stand a raking fire from certain quarters in the Labour camp. A further development arose the other evening. Mr. Mostyn attended a stormy meeting of the electrical trades workers’ union, of which he was formerly organiser. Peeling ran high and there were hoots and groans and other “goings on” that were not strictly parliamentary. Two men waylaid Mr. Mostyn at the top of a' stairway in an attempt to prevent his leaving the meeting. The man who had defied an angry team so that tradition might not suffer was not the man to hesitate in a case of this kind. There were four hits. Mr. Mostyn hit the first man, who then hit the floor at the bottom of the stairway, which, by that time, he imagined had been converted into an escalator. The other two hits were recorded in similar rapid fashion on, and by, the second defender of the bridge And Mr. Mostyn went home to supper. Two men in Sydney to-day are convinced that the wearing of robes and ermine does not make for effiminacy, and that a man who welcomed a duke may subsequently be skilful at “handling his dukes.”