FEMININE REFLECTIONS

Sun (Auckland), Volume I, Issue 249, 11 January 1928, Page 5

FEMININE REFLECTIONS

I j Mundane Musings

When I’m a Man!

Wish I’d been born a man! It would have been fearfully jolly, wouldn’t it? I should have been so beautifully spoiled.

Some people labour under the delusion that women are the pampered sex—but what a mistake that is! Men get their way as a matter of course . . . women as a matter of great privilege. Women have to struggle for it, with every little art and coquetry and trick, while men walk about with a “I take what I will” expression, and every daughter of Eve indulges them. Men, too, of course, make every allowance for the foibles of their own sex. "Well, he’s a man, old thing, and that makes all the difference.” As long as “he’s a man” he can do what he likes, say what he likes, wear what he likes, live how he likes, even write how he likes, and no one will gainsay his right to do so. But let a woman try to do what she likes, say what she likes, write what she likes, etc., and she’ll have the whole of creation about her ears. Church leaders will rebuke her for her language and her dress, her manners and her morality or lack of it; puritanical sub-editors and their ilk will frown upon her breezier writings, and shake their heads and say: "M-m-m-m! Don’t think we’ll use that. Bit meaty for a woman to write, isn't it? If you were a man ” No wonder we’re really, on the whole,

singularly sweet and unselfish creatures. We’ve always been so put upon and that of course is so good for the character, my dears! It begins from earliest days, when the boy goes to college and gets into debt, and father pays up and remarks: "Boys will be boys!” to the time when his poor dear little sister exceeds her dress allowance by a couple of pounds, and has to listen meekly to an exhortation on “What Girls Are Coming To!”

Now why not “Girls Will Be Girls” and “What Boys Are Coming To” for a change? But no, it’s always the same. Original sin is expected of every young man, and a little imitative folly is looked upon with chattering horror in every girl. When young men get all “lit up” and ride round on the tops of taxis or knpek off kindly old gentlemen’s hats or create a shindy in a cabaret, the mothers and dads smile tolerantly and murmur: “.Well, boys will be boys. They’rer only young once!” But when a young woman lights a cigarette in a railway carriage or wears her dresses nice and short, because girls will be girls, and its the fashion anyhow, the generation old enough to know better gets all annoyed about it.

Then they usually start writing to the papers, spreading their views in cold print to contaminate all sorts of people who might otherwise be sensible about it. 'As for wild oats, well, of course, all young men, and quite nice young men, may sow them and remain “quite nice.” But let a girlie sow the most demure little oat, even of the garden variety . . . and, oh! My dear! . . .

IN MY NEXT LIFE Never mind. I cling to the theory of reincarnation (such a comforting one), when all my worst enemies will be rats and snakes and other vermin, when editors and such will not even be allowed any kind of existence, and when I shall at least be an empress, with the power to decapitate whom I please. Only I shan’t be a she-empress. I’ll be the he-est emperor that ever ruled. If anyone disapproves of me then—but, of course, they won’t dare disapprove, for fear of losing their head. I shall be a singularly attractive man though, when I am not in a stern mood, and even then I shall have a compelling charm of my own, and in a world which I hope .will be largely composed of women, everyone will find the most charming excuses for everything I do . . . and I shall certainly do itl

“Dear emperor!” They will say ‘He’s such a high-spirited lad!”

I shall make love to ’em all, the women, I mean. All men are allowed to flirt where they choose—it’s women’s business to resist them. And I’ll be irresistible. Think, my dears, of being the tempter for once, instead of the tempted! There’s real glory for you! HUIA MASE.

Common garden mint is a most effective deodouriser. Rubbed on the hands while washing, after handling fish, onions, tainted meat, etc., it removes all smell and leaves only a pleasant odour of mint. Also, if used in washing any articles, such as forks, etc., used in connection with tinned fish, the results are most satisfactory.