WHY WORRY?

Sun (Auckland), Volume I, Issue 236, 24 December 1927, Page 16

WHY WORRY?

BY MRS. ABB IE HARGRAVE How often do we hear the familiar phrase: “It wasn’t half so bad as I thought.” Comparatively, how seldom do we hear anyone say: “It was far worse than I imagined!” In almost every instance anticipation has .outrun in evil the actual facts. You could almost count on your finge.rS the times, in your own experience, when it wasn’t so—and even then you were spared something, the terror of anticipation! Of all the foolish, nerve-wracking energy-wasting things in life, worry is the most to be deplored. It just eats up our vitality, it sours our tempers, it spoils our enjoyment of the present—the only time we can be sure about!—it is, in fact, a tendency we ought to fight with all our strength of will. Yet, mostly, we continue to let it get the better of us, many times petting and encouraging it, until it is a habit, and, like all habits, stronger than w© are. WHAT MEN THINK “My dear, I can’t help it. I have a worrying nature.” Quite frequently one hears a woman make that remark with complacency, instead of being, as she should be, ashamed of it. Men worry, of course, but I do not remember ever hearing a man own up to a “worrying nature.” If they know they have the tiresome thing, they keep it as dark as possible. Without any wish to exalt men over my own sex I do feel they have one up on us there. The sort of man I am thinking of has had an exasperating day at his office, or whenever he works—one worry after the other. Pie comes home a little glum, perhaps, but he cheers up over his dinner. He plays bridge, dances, gardens, golfs, reads, according to season or opportunity. Pie refuses to let his mind dwell on that worrying day, though he knows perfectly well he must take it up where he left it, to-morrow. But, tonight he shuts his mind on it, realising if he doesn’t, he’ll soon be a nervous wreck, unable to cope with his business affairs, unable to earn—and where will the family, who are dependent on him, be then? LIKE A CHILD

Probably, his wife complains that he never tells her anything about his work, that he treats her like a child! She does not consider that if lie lived his work-worries over again at home, by talking about them, he would never be away from them; they would become his whole life.

More than likely she thinks him unsympathetic about lier servant troubles; the children’s minor ailments, her social setbacks. Those things and their like, to him, are her work-worries. He does not believe any good can come of eternally discussing them. It might be better if he were to sayso plainly, but men are notoriously cowards when it comes to stating their views to their womenfolk. He has learnt that this temporary forgetfulness is worth any price he can pay for it. Nine times out of ten it is why he married. A home of his home! A refuge from worry! Ah, how often it isn’t. That’s what it ought to be, however, and in forcing herself to secure such a home for her husband ?Viy woman is gaining as much as she gives. The one and only maid is leaving next week? Yes, but that is next week; to-night the registry offices are shut and the last post gone. Nothing to be done about it to-night. Let’s get busy at something else—anything. There you have the typical male attitude. I think if I were a man I should not only try to implicate this teaching by example, I should say, bluntly: “My dear, girl, if you only knew how old and ugly you look when you worry!” The woman who doesn’t “take a pull” at herself after that is—well, past praying for!