PASSING SHOTS

Sun (Auckland), Volume I, Issue 230, 17 December 1927, Page 25 (Supplement)

PASSING SHOTS

The fellow who boasts about running thing at home usually means the radio, lawn mower, or washing-machine. A woman has proved that a cat can walk fourteen miles from one home to another. Several tired felines, upon being told this, merely remarked: “Please tell me’ow.” “Stars are less easily seen on moonlit nights.” declares a contemporary. We disagree; on moonlit nights the couples who usually obstruct one’s view in the movies go for a walk in- t stead. We have just heard of a young man who has become engaged to two girls at once and calls one “East” and the other “West,” vowing that never the twain shall meet. s********** * * * t

Ancient Habit.—“We borrow our numerals from the Arabs, and our calendar from the Romans. Can anyone think of another example?” asked the teacher. “Our lawn mower from the Jones and our baby carriage from the Browns,” Willie answered. Cookery with a Kick.—Young Wife—“l’m afraid, dear, my pie is not all it should be. I think I must have left something out.” Husband (with a grimace, after sampling it) —“There’s nothing you could leave out that would make it taste like that. It must be something you put in.”

The Dog's Rights.—“ See here!” exclaimed the angry man, “I wish you would muzzle that dog of yours at night. His barking keeps my baby awake.” “I was going to request you to muzzle your baby,” rejoined the neighbour. “His nightly howling annoys my dog.” Musical Mary.—Mrs. Nexdor: “My daughter plays the piano. Perhaps you have heard her?” Mrs. Xewcome (with great self-re-straint): “I’ve heard the piano.” ! “Yes; my daughter Mary is very < musical.” “All! You have two daughters, j . then!”

On the Evidence: “Plow do you know that Edna and Jim are married?” “I saw her riding in the back seat.” * * * Thrift. —McAndrews, the chemist (at 2 a.m.): “What do you want?” Sandy: “Two-pennorth of bi-carbon-ate of soda for the wife’s indigestion.” McAndrews: “The idea! At this time of night, when a glass of hot water does just as well!” Sandy (hastily): “Weel, well! Thanks for the advice; I’ll no bother ye after all. Good-night.”

Florida Climate. —“ Hello, Maggie! How are you getting on at school?” “Fine. I’m getting in the best position in the class.” “Splendid! Top, I suppose?” "No; right at the foot, near the hotwater pipes.” * • * Taming the Wild.—“ Hello, old man. where have you been ?” “Just got back from a camping trip.” “Roughing it, eh ?” ( “You bet. Why, one day our portable dynamo went on the bum and we had no hot water, heat, electric 1 lights, ice or radio for almost two 1 hours.”

r* : u? -r rl~ -It nt ~r -r ~h Vr In Rome.—Sweet Young- Thing (to I guide): Oh, do show me the place j where they used to bring their cats to ! be combed, i f i * Escape.—From “Putnam Book News.” —A clergyman during his first curacy - found the ladies of the parish so “helpful*’ that he was forced to leave, s Some while later he met his successor, t “How are you getting on with the ladies?” asked the escaped curate. “Oh, 5 all right!” was the answer; “there’s r safety in numbers!” “I found it in Exodus,” was the reply.

Damaged Partner. —“ Have you heard that Mr. Lehmann has had both his legs cut off on the railway?” “What a shame! He danced so beautifully!” * * * Ragging the Classics.—lt was an amateur play and the manager said that everybody in the cast was jealous of everybody else. He declared that never again would he manage an amateur play. When questioned about his main difficulty, he made reply: “Tm having a duece of a time keeping the peace between Damon and Pythias.”