As They Might Have Saidor, Sayings Great Men Chanced Not to Say

Sun (Auckland), Volume I, Issue 230, 17 December 1927, Page 10

As They Might Have Said — or, Sayings Great Men Chanced Not to Say

A LONDON newspaper which prints every week a set of “Sayings of the Week” recently devised a competition in which its readers were called on to invent fictitious sets of these “sayings.” As w r ill be seen from the selection w r hich follows, many readers fathered upon certain notabilities the sort of epigrammatic children which they might be expected to own, or to own up to.

Only pigs exhibit the essential qualities of the English race: Patience, Acquisitiveness, and a Sense r£ Humour. —Mr Baldwin.

I am surprised that, as a race, w'e are so happy, when I can see so many reason for our being miserable. —Dean Inge.

When I hear anyone talk of sound finance I knew him for an enemy of the people.—Mr George Lansbury. People who complain that the world is upside down are often discovered to be standing on their heads.—Mr G. K. ChcA_o-. The aim of modern education should be to leave the child exactly as we find it.—The Headmaster of Eton. One or two so-called members of the Liberal Party are as much out of place there as a square bull in a round china-shop.—Mr Lloyd George. If only the miners, the British Government, and the Continent of Europe could be abolished, the mines in this country would be an amazing success. —Sir Adam Nimmo.

People are too inclined to present their worries in the form of a financial statement.—Mr Winston Churchill.

I think we are all agreed that the panacea for our present troubles is that the other man should work harder. —Dr A. Shadwell.

Oh! take the tiresome crown away; I’d rather have my toys and play. —King Michael (of Roumania.)

The Government believes in spoiling the tar for a ha’porth of shin.—Mr Jack Jones, M.P.

The modern girl is not so red as she is painted.—Mrs Hilton Philipson. When saying “Good-bye” to a schoolboy, it is not the words but the action that does —or does not—accompany them, that is longest remembered.— Dr Norwood.

The poet rightly observes, “Let the great world spin for ever down the ringing grooves of change,” and we shall be rash if we assume that progress is other than downwards. — Dean Inge. It is a strange fact that people who live in glass-houses cannot help casting reflections.—Mr Gilbert Chesterton.

England is desecrated by people who drive about open country in closed cars.—Mr Arnold Bennett. A man's wife may understand him or she may admife him: he cannot have both, and he Is lucky to get either. —Miss Rose Macaulay. “Please” is heard oftener in the land than “Thank you”.—Dean Inge. For “Can’t afford” read “Hire purchase.”—Samuel Smiles, Junior.

It has sometimes been suspected that the English aren’t a musical nation; Community Singing has made that suspicion a certainty.—Mr G. B. Shaw.

We are a law-abiding people; but telephone operators sometimes presume on the fact.—Sir Weiltodo Piffler.

Despite the Adage, ultimate Truths are not found in Wells.—Hillaire Belloc.

Failing divorce, or the simultaneous demise of the contracting parties, it is safe to assume that the ultimate result of every marriage must be either a widow or a widower.—Mr Justice Gumble.

The thought on which I would like you all to dwell is this: How very many good ideas are lost for the warn, of thinking of them.—Lord Haldane.