A JEST OR TWO

Sun (Auckland), Volume I, Issue 212, 26 November 1927, Page 27 (Supplement)

A JEST OR TWO

Curse of Adam. —“ Has he a profession?” "No, I understand he works.” Rah! Rah! —"How do you play hookey from the correspondence school?” "I send them an empty envelope.” Sure Dope. —Sweety: "What is the cure for seasickness ?” Salty: “Give it up.” Custom Made. —Neighbour: “Yes, but I ’ad the last word wiv him. I sez to 'im, I sez, ‘You’re as ugly as if you’d been measured for it.’ ” Getting Even. —The meanest man to-day is the husband whoTl shave the back of his wife’s neck with the razor she’s used to sharpen a pencil. Power of Suggestion. —Tom: “Why are your socks on wrong side out, Bob?” Bob: "My feet were hot and I turned the hose on them.” Domestic Pet. —Some people are worrying how to keep the wolf from the door; others are figuring out how they can throw it out of the house before it has pups. Esteemed Colleague. —Messenger (to newsboy): ‘Who’s the swell guy ye was talkin’ to, Jimmie?” Newsboy: "Aw, him and me’s woiked togedder fer years. He’s the editor o’ one o’ my papers.” Sad Reminder. —Wife: “Every time you see a pretty girl, you forget you’re married.” Hubby: "You’re wrong, m’ dear. Nothing brings home the fact more forcibly.”

Watchful Waiting.—Sam sat on the sunny side of the tree, the perspiration running down his face. “Boy, why don’t you-all seat yo’self on the shady side?” his friend asked him. “That’s all you knows ’bout nature,” replied Sam. “By and by sun’s goin’ to be on that side, and then Ah won’t hab to move.”

Tender Memory. —Mrs. Shimmerpate, just back from Europe, said to Mrs. Beanbrough: “I just couldn’t bear looking at the ruins in Italy. They made me homesick for my husband.” “Homesick for your husband?” “Uh, huh. You know, Henry has fallen arches.”