FROM THE WATCH TOWER

Sun (Auckland), Volume I, Issue 171, 10 October 1927, Page 8

FROM THE WATCH TOWER

By “THE LOOK-OUT VAN” THE SEXTIUEXTAL BURGLAR . On arrest, a burglar told the police j that when he was in a house ejam- j ining some rings, the owner com-! meuced singing “The Prisoner's Song,” and he was so affected that he could not take the goods, which were valued I at £9O. Let us sing a little song: ”/ wish I had someone to love me!" — "What’s that” and the burglar turned vale. Again the refrain — "Ah. ‘to love me 1 Alas, there are none, save in gaol!" Then sadly he laid doum his jemmy, His burgling had lost all its zest; And his skeleton keys Felt most ill at ease As a tear trickled down on his chest. Weighed down by distressful emotion, O'erburdened by tremulous grief, Of lachrymose fluid an ocean Poured forth from this penitent thief. 11 e tremblingly dropped his revolver, His sandbag he threw on the floor, And replaced on the table The rings he'd been able To steal—and he moaned “Never more!” Ah! music hath charms that are splendid, The moral is plain as can be: E’en 1 a burglar’s ways may be mended If you play the right tune, tra-la-lee. Get your gramophone motor a-going, I-ct it sweeten the air all night long, More efficient than police Is the nightly release Of that classic “The Prisoner’s Song”! WILHELM —FLIER Ex-Kaiser Wilhelm has blossomed forth as a critic on aviation. He ought to know something about flying—he flew fast enough from his beloved Fatherland to the sanctuary of Holland when his war gods crashed. Some German assessors of fact say, however, that Wilhelm was always more of a liar than a flier. THE REAL NOBILITY It is suggested that, owing to the number of noble lords connected with those industries which have their foundations on hops or malt, who sit in the high chamber of British aristocracy, the House of Peers would be more fittingly known as the House of Beers. There are honours and riches in thd brewing of that which maketh glad the heart of man. The Earl of Iveagh, whose death is reported today, is said to have left a fortune of £20,000,000. He was the head of the Irish brewing firm of Guiness. Owing to the opportunities provided by his successful brewing of stout, he was created a baronet, to become successively baron, viscount and earl. In the bad old days, men were ennobled by their Sovereign for the doing of doughty deeds; nobody quite knows why they are handed coronets these days. Lord Iveagh was a staunch Conservative, and doubtless he contributed generously to the party funds. But to do his late lordship justice, he did better things than this with his money, his public gifts including £500,000 for housing in Dublin, £50,000 to Dublin hospitals, £1,000,000 for housing workers in London, and large sums to medical research funds—and there will be a beautiful dividend for the nation, in the way of death duty, now that he has gone. Like enough, too, it may be found, when the will comes to be read, that a man who did so much good with his money when alive did not forget to arrange for its beneficial distribution when he was dead.

38 38 38 38 38 38 38 38 38 38 38 ill * Si -8 -8 A TRIP TO ROME Yet another tribute has been paid to the famous London police. A hundred of these stalwarts have been received at the Vatican by the Pope, who said he had watched and admired their paternal patience and that they were the finest and noblest of militia. It is reported that Commissioner Mcllveney, who considers the members of his own force to be at least equal to the London “Bobby,” is much heartened by this news and is considering the advisability of ordering the noble band of picked men who followed him on the tour with the Duke and Duchess of York to brush their shakos and polish their buttons and visit Rome with him to secure Pontifical recognition. It is understood that there should be no difficulty in securing leave for the gallant band—each man, in common with most members of the force, having about seven years’ accumulated leave due to him.