PASSING SHOTS

Sun (Auckland), Volume I, Issue 158, 24 September 1927, Page 25 (Supplement)

PASSING SHOTS

Speaking of music, we might say that the Wedding March usually ends in A flat. No wonder love grows cold when you think of the scanty clothes that adorn Cupid. It’s no sin to play golf on Sunday, but the way some play is a crime. “What is the solution of the reckless driving problem?” asks a contemporary. It can be given in a sentence. * * * Only one woman in fifteen, says a scientist, has perfect eyes. The others are too goo-goo’d to be true. If all the serial stories were placed end to end in this world they would have to be continued in the next A golf course near London is to be cut up by building contractors. Hitherto this work has been done by the players. * * * Our idea of a sceptic is a man who sees twenty people waiting for the elevator and then goes up and pushes the button. A two-handed sword and a suit of armour were put up for sale in London. We understand they were snapped up by an amateur gardener who is determined to prune his rose bushes this year in comfort.

ta rc. ri-t rr rr rH ~r rr rr rr f-r fr rr rr On the Park Bench.—Mr. Killjoy: “Tck, Tck! I must report you to the authorities for kissing your wife on Sunday!” Mr. Flirt: “But this isn’t my wife!” Mr. Killjoy: “Oh, pardon me.” —Judge. A Warning.—“ One of the secrets of success in business,” a well-known English manufacturer said recently, “is to executive a customer’s order exactly as given. A tradesman may err, even with the best intentions. For instance, there was the case of the newly-engaged young man who informed the lady of his choice, aged 24, that he was sending her a rose for every year of her age. To a florist he gave the order to send the lady two dozen of the finest roses he could, procure. “Here’s a good customer,” remarked the florist tp his assistant whc was packing the’ blooms, “so put in an extra half-dozen!” The engagement was broken off.

rr rr rr rr rr rr -r rr yr. rr rr rr -r yr. rr How to Torture Your Wife.—“ John, dear, I am to be an amateur theatrical. What would folks say if I were to wear tights?” “They would probably say that I married you for your money.” * * * Unfair Strain.—A psychologist has invented a machine which records how tired a person is. We understand that a bricklayer was tested and the apparatus exploded. • * • The First Back-seat Drivers.—£sunday School Teacher: “And so the Angel with the flaming sword drove Adam and Eve out of the Garden.” Little Adnock: “What kind of a car did he have?” Wasting Gas.—Little George, the garage mascot, was visiting his aunt. He found the cat in a sunny window purring cheerfully. “Oh, Auntie, come quick,” said little George, “the cat has gone to sleep and left his engine running.”

TUNNEY TACTICS I “Though the fishing is not,” said Bill Daw, “Conducted by prize-fighters’ law, From Salmon to trout Most fish are put out By landing a hook in the jaw.”

HAD NO TEX RICKARD In days of old when knights were bold, They had some goodly fights, But they were dumb, they never sold, Their moving picture rights. -r -I- -1- -I- T> -I- -> -I- -I- -> -> -> -I- -1- -1- •!- ->