FROM THE WATCH TOWER

Sun (Auckland), Volume I, Issue 150, 15 September 1927, Page 10

FROM THE WATCH TOWER

By “THE LOOK-OUT MAN’’ A BO OX Under the new Customs tariff, antiques are to be admitted free, if over 100 years old. Now we shall he able to import heavy stocks of English jokes, and doctors and dentists may afford to replenish the somewhat worn stocks of illustrated papers in their consulting rooms. LANGUAGE AND LEVELS It is proposed by the Harbour Board that non-union labour on the waterfront should congregate at a point other than that now used, on account of the language it indulges in. The new resort suggested is the low-level landing at the southern end of King’s Wharf, where the conversation of the men could not be overheard by the Chesterfieldian carters, sailors, firemen, Customs officials and policemen who habitually frequent the wharves. Sort of low-level situation for lc /-level language. Why not try a high-level? The establishment of a place of congregation on one of the roofs of the wharf sheds would certainly elevate these men. IN SHEEP’S CLOTHING If the Irish Free State electors will only vote for the De Valera party, they will have a constitution-abiding Government, recognising fully its obligations to the Sovereign and the Empire. So promises Mr. De Valera, whose pledges can . be fully relied upon—seeing that he threatened to wade through Irish blood to defeat the Treaty, and later counselled the Republican M.P.'s to take the oath of allegiance (so that they could take their seats in Parliament) and then to disregard it. It is said that it was an Irishman who first discovered the famous hole in the ladder, and Irishmen may be trusted to see through Mr. De Valera. » * * INDEED TO GOOTNESSJ At this year’s Welsh National Eisteddfod, held at Holyhead, Anglesey, sensation followed sensation. First of all, the crowned bard of 1927 (a young lad of 22) rebelled and refused to don bardic robes prior to being crowned, and wrote an insulting letter to the Arch Druid on the matter. Then came an unprecedented incident in the chief choral contest, when an Irish iady conductor —a Miss Cupples from Dublin—with the spirit of a Mussolini, broke through all the tradition and practice of musical competition by assuming the right to sing the piece the second time, as the first attempt did not please her. Incidentally she was awarded the chief prize. Holyhead was still ringing with the resulting controversy when yet another sensation developed. Following a stirring speech by Mr. Lloyd George, the ceremony of chairing the bard was to take place. The adjudicators, however, announced that not.one of the ten odes sent in was worthy of a prize, and the carved chair—a gift of the Welsh colony in Brisbane —was withheld. Truly a sad day for the Welsh! But they can play cricket. WiK * % * *

WHAU—WOW ! The New Lynn Town Board is going to try and recover damages from the owners of the taxicab which smashed through and went over the narrow WTiau Bridge. Wow! On the same principle, the owners of the great London building which collapsed recently are going to sue the relatives of the people killed by the falling masonry, on the ground that the deceased involved expenditure in hav ing to be hurriedly dug out of the ruins. Fortunately, the victims of the Whau smash did not nave to be dug out of the Whau, or the New Lynn Town Board would have been very severe on their relatives. MONSTER -VEGETABLES In the Spring the suburbanite’s fancy, springs to thoughts of—cab bases, carrots and the like, at the growing of which he can beat the Chinese badly, if you may believe him. Hearing loud boasts in the suburban train this morning of giant vegetables, grown and to be grown, reminded the L.O.M. that recently the London “Daily Herald” greeted Lord Lambourne as “a man and a brother," because, in opening a show he condemned the growing of abnormally big garden produce for the sake of prizes. He made the giant gooseberry look small, and said it was better to grow good stuff than big stuff. “Let our gardeners and our noble army of allotment holders concentrate on growing carrots of the right length and succulence, lettuces that are content with their stations in life, marrows that are not puffed up, cabbages that do not vaunt themselves Someone should invent a proper punishment for people who grow abnormal things and crow over their neighbours. Boiling oil is indicated —but perhaps that should be reserved for the abandoned folk who produce scentless i roses.”