FROM THE WATCH TOWER

Sun (Auckland), Volume I, Issue 147, 12 September 1927, Page 8

FROM THE WATCH TOWER

By “THE LOOK-OUT MAN” THE -'l/1 ('/ POM ARE” The new steamer tor the Cook Island group is to he named the "Maui Fomare.” It is understood that the Samoans, who are so delighted with the rule of their Administrator, are dreadfully disappointed that this new line of communication is not to he named the “General Richardson.” GEOGRAPHY FOR MINISTERS It was thought worth w-hile to cable all the way from England the fact that Mr. J. H. Thomas, who was Colonial Secretary in the late Labour Government, had said, referring to the Queensland railway strike: —“That dispute is in New Zealand.” It did not necessarily follow that Mr. Thomas thought Queensland was in New Zealand; he may simply have been mistaken as to the location of the trouble, so that the “roars of laughter” and cries of “Where is Queensland?” were probably misdirected. Anyhow, New Zealanders don’t worry about it being thought Queensland, or any other small spot like that, is in New Zealand—but they are furiously angry when it is suggested that New Zealand is attached to, or is part of, any other Dominion. But we really ought to insist that all our Imperial and Dominion Ministers should know British geography. The Secretary of State for the Dominions who does not know that Waipukurau, Whakarewarewa, Paekakariki or One Tree Hill are in New Zealand, and that Wantabadgery, Bibbarongabooki and Woolloomoolo are in Australia, is unequipped for his job. The Australian Minister for External Affairs, who is not perfectly acquainted with the longitude and latitude and history of the South African centres of Stellerbosch, Pietermaritzburg, Ondtspaanfontein, and Sea Point ought to surrender his portfolio to someone who is. And if Mr. Nosworthy cannot locate “off pat” all the above component parts of Empire and immediately upon request indicate with perfect pronunciation the exact geographical situation of Rhosllanerchrugog, Gwyddelwern, Penrhyrdeudracth and Cardiff —well, Mr. Nosworthy is not the Minister of External Affairs he thinks he is. THE CLOSED DOOR The granting of damages to a civilian assaulted by a detective brought to light something that would otherwise have escaped public attention. The detective had been convicted by a police tribunal (held behind closed doors), and the civil claim was a natural sequence. But had his own compeers not found him guilty, the police ofßcer would still be “officering” in his own peculiar manner, and the “officered” civilian would have scant chance of justice. The question arises whether the public has a fair chance in a case of public versus police when the police conduct the inquiry without public representation. If a civilian assaults a policeman, he is tried in open court. If a policeman assaults a civilian, he is tried in cs.mera. Somehow it does not seem right. AUCKLAND'S GOLF WIN Out of 13,854 golfers in the Dominion, Auckland possesses the best amateur player, though Hamilton is inclined to dispute the honour. This player is Mr. S. Morpeth, a member of the Titirangi Club, previously more attached to Hamilton than anywhere, who won the title at Hamilton on Saturday. Before the match someone asked: "Well, -who is going to win, Hamilton or Masterton?” The Auck-

lander, of whom the question was asked just sat tight, and prayed that Auckland might will at last. Ever since 1893, when the South Island had a long-since-lost monopoly in New Zealand golf, Aucklanders have been trying to win the title, but this year—34 years after the first playing of the amateur championship—is the first occasion on which a city representative has been successful. Hamilton has won the event once. The same player secured the honour for them when the championship was last played in Hamilton in 1920. Auckland has another ex-amateur champion, Mr. H. B. Lusk, who won the event in 1910, but lie was then a Christchurch member. WELLINGTON'S BUTTER PROFITS “You talk about the wealth provided by butter in the Auckland Province,” said the man who contends that “profiteering” is a -word of which the late lamented Mr. Webster might have been well proud. “Your butter-fat returns are unworthy of receipt by the school branches of the Savings Bank which joyfully accept the pennies of the kiddies, as compared with -what the Wellingtonians make out of butter. I went into a Wellington tearoom the other morning and ordered beef-tea and toast. The toast was served dry, and there being no butter on the table, I asked for some. I was told that butter was not allowed to be brought from the kitchen. ‘Kitchen’ was the wrong word. The -waitress meant ‘safe deposit.’ Taking the tosist away, she returned it, very slightly smeared with the precious golden grease. Another serving of toa.st and another smear—and a bill for —‘butter, 6d.’ I sought a mathe-matically-minded person who worked it out for me that butter in a Wellington tea-shop cost equivalent to 24(1s a lb. I am in Auckland at present to float a company to open a tea-room business in Wellington.”