Mundane Musings Is Marriage a Failure?

Sun (Auckland), Volume 1, Issue 109, 29 July 1927, Page 5

Mundane Musings Is Marriage a Failure?

Many years ago, when all the world was young and the Victorian days were beginning to run to the end of their placid course, an English newspaper startled the -world by asking (in large type) “Is Marriage a FailThis was quite a new idea in an era when people were married and lived happily ever afterwards, a w’orld where house rents were fairly low and servants were plentiful. But it was a dangerous idea to let loose on a simple world, and the ripples that this stone of thought cast in the duck pond of matrimony are still rippling through the serious drama and most of the serious novels. Then came the war-time with many hasty marriages, and “Marry in haste and repent at leisure” still holds good as a proverb, though, at the same time, it must be conceded that many a wartime marriage came to grief not so much from incompatability of temperament but from the trials of peace which followed. The whole world has had to come down to earth, and marriage in itself partakes of the nature of a mutual debt which calls for long years of liquidation. So matrimonial squabbles, taxes, and strikes have been the distinguishing features of the post-war period. CUSTOM OR CUPID? But all marriages are more or less of a success if they last long enough. Custom is stronger than Cupid in the long run. The first year of married life is the first danger year. The ship must find herself and settle down. The planking of the little barque which carries the matrimonial fortunes must “take up” as sailors say.

A period of illusion must be lived through and lived down. Corners of temperaments and tempers must be knocked off by a process of attrition, and at the end of the first year custom begins to assert itself. The mistake in marriage is to expect too much from what is at best a state of friendly but armed neutrality. Love is a very beautiful happening. But it is founded on illusion. Illusion must fade away and instead of shooting arrows into Strephon’s heart, Phyllis must devote herself to putting mustard plasters on his chest. One cannot live on the top note of a love song all the time. Therefore, the first year of married life is a danger year, and the custom which heals its hurts brings yet another danger in a few years’ time. Very often outside interests war against the home. The husband is pulled one way by business or pleasure, or that deadly combination of both. The wife is pulled another — sometimes, indeed, driven another—way by sheer neglect. And that is the second danger year of marriage. HOW MARRIAGES ARE MADE But if it last long enough marriage forms its own ties. French folk know this well enough when they make their marriages, not in Heaven, but by arrangement between the families. The Englishman marries because he loves. The French husband loves because he marries. All over the world human nature differs but little. If it lasts long enough, almost every marriage turns out well, for after all, marriage is a custom, a habit, as it were, which must be acquired to be enjoyed. Let those who would make a tragedy of a few side-slips remember their first cigar or their first trip to What sort of sailor turns back at his first bout of seasickness? Lots of young sailors have wished themselves dead. Lots of young wives have wished themselves divorced. Yet they have all managed in the long run to live down this cowardice and to get their mate’s ticket, and finally theii rank as master mariners. HONOUR FOR WOMAN INSTALLED L.D.D.G.M. OF LODGE Seldom does it fall to the lot of a member of the fair sex to be installed L.D.D.G.M. of her lodge. Such was the honour recently bestowed on Sister E. M. Crooke, then P.N.G. of Waitemata District No. 2 Laurel Rebekah Lodge. The ceremony, performed by Sister E. L. Newbold, L. of Auckland, and Sister M. L. Tailbv, P.L.D.D.G.M., created general interest, some 200 Oddfellows being present on the unique occasion.

COMING-OF-AGF. PARTY The coming of age of Miss Lucy Spinley, daughter of Mr. and Mrs. G. Spinley, of Te Awamutu, was celebrated at the Town l-lall on Monday evening. About 150 guests were present and a very pleasant evening was spent by all. After a dainty supper Mr. H. Andrew proposed the toast of ‘The Lady of the Evening.” He concluded a happy speech by presenting a gailyberibboned key to Miss Spinley. The toast of the “Host and Hostess” was proposed by Mr. A. E. Patterson.

THE MUTUAL CLUB The bridge committee of the Mutual Club held its weekly bridge afternoon on Monday. The house committee (Mrs. F. W. Allen, convener) entertained the jnembers at afternoon tea. The clubrooms were beautifully decorated with irises and yellow daffodils. Songs contributed by Mesdames Bagnall and Rees and Misses Brierly and Grevatt were much enjoyed.

VARIETY OF ENTERTAINMENTS AVONDALE CATHOLIC CARNIVAL There is at least variety in the programme of entertainment arranged in connection with the Avondale Catholic Queen Carnival. The children are the latest to be provided for in this way. They are to be given the place of “curtain-raiser”—a fancy costume dance—to the next masked ball. For those who like diving deep into their trouser’s pockets a “Paddy’s Market” is to be held in the G.O.C. garage. "Evenings” are prominent on the bill of fare offering in support of the three children candidates in the carnival, Agnes Keary, Ivy Teirney and Kathleen Tobin.

AT ASCOT NEW ZEALANDERS IN THE ROYAL ENCLOSURE Among New Zealand visitors in the Royal enclosure at Ascot were Mrs. M. Duncan and her daughter, Miss A. Duncan, Mrs. Egerton Reid, her daughter, Miss Jane Reid, and her niece, Miss Marjory Gibson, Mr. and Mrs. JB. Reid, Mrs. E. L. Riddiford, Mr. and Mrs. Vivian Riddiford and Mrs. Edward Riddiford, Mr. and Mrs. J. F. Studholme, Mrs- M. Cracroft Wilson and her daughter, Mrs. D- P. Dickinson, Mr. and Mrs. Charles Elgar, Mr. and Airs. G. A. C. Elkington, Mr. and Airs. W. J- Blundell and Air. B. Blundell, Aliss S. Barraud. Airs. W. H. Fulton, Air. and Airs. Aloss Davis and Aliss Blanche Davis, Lieut.-Colonel and Airs. Norman Fitzherbert and their nieces, Aliss Cicely Fitzherbert and Airs. Strachan Goldingham, Aliss Ruth Pharazyn, Airs. A. TI. Aliles and daughter, Aliss H- Aliles, Mr. and Airs. George AlcMillan, Air. and Airs. L. O. H. Tripp, Major A. de B. Brandon, D. 5.0., Air. B. E. Keiller, Air. and Airs. H- B. Williams, Air. and Airs. F. Findlay and Aliss Shirtcliffe, Airs. Todd and the Alisses Todd, Air. and Airs. Eliot Davis. Air. and Airs. Lowry, Aliss Lowry, and Mrs. Chapman, and Air. and Airs. J- F. Cracroft Wilson.

A GOLDEN WEDDING CELEBRATED AT SEA On Wednesday morning, May 4, the Tainui set sail from Wellington for Southampton, via Panama. Among the passengers were Mr. and Mrs. G. Brewer, of Adelaide Road, Wellington, who were nearing the 50th anniversary of their wedding day. The other passengers chanced to hear of this, and on the evening of Saturday, May 21, they arranged a delightful little function in the saloon and made Mr. and Mrs. Brewer the 1 guests of honour. Commander Elford presided and on, behalf of the company he congratulated Mr. and Mrs. Brewer on attaining their golden wedding and wishjed that they might yet celebrate the diamond anniversary of their marrii/ge. On behalf of the passengers the commander presented them with/ several charming little mementos -of the occasion, including a Maltese. lace scarf, a rose bowl, a pocket wallet and an autograph album with the passengers’ names inscribed. Mr. Brewer acknowledged the presents on behalf of his wife and himself with a cheery little speech of thanks arid appreciation for the delightful spirit that had prompted the £vvn c^on *

NEW ZEALAND CALLERS AT HIGH COMMISSIONER’S OFFICE Among thb recent callers from Auckland ay the office of the High Commissioner for New Zealand in London were the following: Mrs. N. I. Hunt, Miss F. I. Hunt and Mr. F. A. I. Hunt, Ale. A. B. Simpson, Mr. and Mrs. C. V. Hoijghton and Miss Beryl Houghton, Mys. Radcliffe and Miss Radcliffe. Mr. and Mrs. T. W. Jones, Mrs. F. E. Ry; n, Mr. R. T. Baillie, Mr. M. Foley and the /Misses Foley. Mr. N. A. Jury. Mr. and . Mrs. W. A. Browne and Miss Dovina ’ S. Browne, Miss E. M. Fleming, Mr. I \V. H. Vickers. Mr. H. V. Frayling. Mr. Chan. Anderson, the Hon. Mrs. R , Vane, Mr. Arch. Bishop, Mr. Edwin Siddall, Miss E. Stratford. Mr. and ' Mrs. W. J. Macklow and Miss M. Mack- | low, Mr. and Mrs. J. F. Studholme, l)r. D. N. Eppstein, Mr. and Mrs. Sawyers. Mr. and Mrs. G. Bateson, Mrs. . E. A. Tregurtha, Mr. C. A. H. Tapper I - ■