YOUR CLUB AND MINE

Sun (Auckland), Volume 1, Issue 106, 26 July 1927, Page 4

YOUR CLUB AND MINE

AN OPEN PAGE

Each Tuesday afternoon a corner will be reserved for original contributions of general interest to womenfolk. The subject matter is for you to choose —whatever topic interests you may also be of interest or amusement to others, whether it be about your hobbies, experiences, or merely amusing musings about the ordinary round of the day. «.

A book prize is offered weekly for the best effort, which should be brief, plainly Written, and sent to “Your Club and Mine,” THE SUN, Auckland.

The prize has been awarded this week to Mrs. Arthur Griffiths, 83 Owen's Road, Mount Eden.

OVERHEARD IN CHURCH Mrs. Sharpies: “Did you notice, dear, that he omitted the prayer for those at sea, and put in that long one about the Royal Family? He forgot to mention the Duke and Duchess of York —I do hope the Lord won’t notice it. “He should be more careful, and why doesn’t he speak out —mumble, mumble, I can’t make out half he says. I must say he earns his stipend easily, and he should really do more visiting than he does. “Isn’t the pulpit dusty, what is the caretaker thinking about? “Oh, dear, aren’t these seats hard? I must bring my own cushion and that funny man next to me is using my hymn book. Whoever put him in our pew ?” Miss Seventeen “Phyllis, do look at that awful hat of Madge Montgomery's. Did you ever see such a shape and colour? She bought it at the bargain sale, I saw it reduced to three guineas. Where does she get the money from to dress as she does, and her father is only a doctor with a small practice—not a bit clever —I wouldn’t go to him. “She writes, or something. Anyway she can’t have a penny in the bank and dress like a fashion-plate. It can’t be done!” “Hush, dear, don’t whisper, it seems so rude to talk in church.” “That’s her young man next to her with the horn-rimmed spectacles. They say he’s very clever, but I think he looks soft, and his coat doesn’t fit across the shoulders. “You look so nice, dear, this morning. What face powder do you use? Really’ I must get some. “What do you think of the Beauty Contest? I nearly entered, but I was too shy. Still I might have had a chance. I’d like a trip to Hollywood. There is one of the finalists across the aisle! Her hair’s all right but her nose is all wrong and she has no figure to speak of, dear.” Small Boy “Mummy, can I say something? Is that a nightgown the minister’s wearing? If I can’t wear my new suit in heaven how will the Lord know we belong to good society? “Mummy, I don’t feel well —got a headache. I always get headaches in church. They say an apple a day keeps the doctor away—l ate seven this morning, so I’ll be all right for a week. “Can I go out before the sermon. I might get sick. There’s a little box at the door says ‘for the sick and needy.’ “Mummy, I dropped my hymn book just now, and when I picked it up that freckled boy in the next pew made a face at me. “Have you got any lollies in your bag? Oh, I’m going to sneeze! Ah choo, ah choo! ‘ I think I’m getting the ’flu, and I've lost my hankie and swallowed my chewing-gum. “Oh, there’s ray penny rolled down the aisle. I’ll go out now before the sermon and pick it up on the way, it’ll do for next Sunday unless you let me buy bull’s eyes, Mummie. “I might be sick, I’ll go now on tiptoe, and tell Jane you’ll be home soon, and to hurry the dinner.” Mrs. Newly Wed “Oh, here’s the collection plate. George, have you got a sixpence? I don’t want to put in half-a-crown. No, I haven’t got a spare button, don’t try to be funny at the wrong moment. I had a nice new threepenny and I must have left it on my dressing-table. Mrs. Brown always looks at the carpet when the plate comes round. Ask Marjory if she can lend me sixpence. No! Why don’t you people bring some money with you? The collection’s in aid of the choir, but I don’t think much of the singing. The anthem was all out of time; that comes of not attending the practices. “Well, I'll have to put in a penny. It’s a flat plate too, and the elder’s watching what we put in; really he has no manners, or he’d look away. I suppose he guesses we’re bride and bridegroom.” (All exit in a state of spiritual tranquility.) MRS. ARTHUR GRIFFITHS. AN ENGAGEMENT The engagement is announced of Helen Rosamund, only daughter of Mr. and Mrs. Hugh Stewart, of “Tyrone,” Marton, to Herbert Jenner, the only son of Mr. and Mrs. H. H. D. Wily, of Buckland.