FROM THE WATCH TOWER

Sun (Auckland), Volume 1, Issue 105, 25 July 1927, Page 8

FROM THE WATCH TOWER

“THE LOOK-OUT MAN

OWED TO JULY Sweet, moistened space, That heralds sprouting Spring With lachrymatory face, Thy praise I ( shouting ) sing! Thy gentle rain That falleth ev’ry day (and night), To svjill the sodden plain Is full sufficiency —O quite f The backyard’s mud , The lakes in ev’ry street, The guttetr’s raging flood, Thy gay and gladdening sleet, Are all thine owns Blithe, boist’rous as a boy, Each rheumy bone Shrieks with an added joy. Coughs, colds and ’flu, Are precious things that I (.Plus doctors’ bills) owe you — Dear, jubilant Julyl * * * UGLY MEN Writing in somewhat satirical strain anent beauty competitions, a correspondent asks the Look-Out Man why doesn’t someone promote a competition for men. The idea is by no means new. Years ago they held one in Hobart. Some wags nominated the village idiot—commonly known as “Snalky.” So delighted was the populace with the humour of it that it voted for “Snalky” almost unanimously! Genuine ugly-man competitions have been held, too—which reminds the Look-Out Man that there is (or was) an Ugly Mans’ Club in Perth, Western Australia, which has raised large sums of money for charity. Nor is this new. Over 120 years ago—in 1804, to be exact —there appeared in the “Greenock Advertiser” a notice summoning the members of the Ugly Club to a dinner at Williams’s coffee-house, to celebrate their fifth anniversary, “any ugly gentleman who wishes to become a member to lodge his name and qualifications at the said “coffee-house.” The notice concluded: Ugly mortals, hither haste, Enjoy our mirth, enjoy our feast.; Bring rich red noses, long or crooked : The Shandcan nose, and noses hooked: Bring unde stretched mouths , formed for loud laughter, Let lengthy chins come following after; But —each must bring a well-formed heart. Or hear this sentence — “ Of f —depart!” A case of “Handsome is as handsome does.” “CAN” CANADA “Say,” asked the gentlemanly Canadian, as the Soccer team from the land of the Maple was being shown over the office of The Sun on Friday—“ Say, mister, did you write that billboard” He was referring to the wording of the daily “poster,” which asked, in relation to the next day’s international football match, “Can Canada?” In Americanese, to “can” a thing is to shut it up, silence it, or put it out of sight. “That’s not fair,” said the Canadian, .in simulated sadness. “Whatcher wanter can us for?” His attention was directed to the note of interrogation after the word Canada, and he smiled in feigned relief. Can Canada? Canada could. Canada “canned” New Zealand —scores, 4 —l. THE WET SEASON

“The wet season in Auckland starts in August,” said one of the men facing the fire in the smokeroom of a private hotel. The visitor, who was in New 2Seaiand sight-seeing, and who had only been able to get his motor-car out in to the country roads once (and then he was bogged for ten hours), started, and looked around. “What’s that” he demanded. “I said the wet season started next month,” repeated the other. “Wet season!” exploded the stranger. “Isn’t this the wet season?” “Oh, no,” said the Aucklander, “this is the rainy season.” Ten minutes later the visitor was at Cook’s. “I’m getting right out of this,” he announced. “Book my passage in the first steamer going far, far away from this city on which ‘the eternal sunshine smiles.’ Give me a ticket to —er —give me a ticket to Liberia. I read an article on Liberia in The Sun on Saturday. The rainfall there is only 150 inches a year.”

DOCTORS UP-TO-DATE Nothing but the latest for the profession of medicine. There is an admirable alertness, for instance, about the profession in Australia. By arrangement between the British Medical Association and the Health Departments, six doctors, who will be paid salaries of from £SOO to £I,OOO annually, with six airplanes for their use, will wait at their bush stations for telegraph or wireless calls for aid—and off to the.rescue. No longer will the lone stockman or boundary-rider die in slow agonies from injuries far away from medical aid; nor the wife of the wayback settler or shepherd go through her most desperate trial without skilled attention. It is for these exigencies—and especially for maternity cases in isolated areas—that the service has been designed. There is little doubt this advanced system of rendering medical aid will save many valuable lives. The study of its possibilities for New Zealand c be recommended to the B.M.A. of this country.