FROM THE WATCH TOWER

Sun (Auckland), Volume 1, Issue 71, 15 June 1927, Page 8

FROM THE WATCH TOWER

By

the LOOK-OUT MAN.

HIS BAD LUCK No; things are not what they seem. One must commiserate with the Rev. Gauntry, the London Wesleyan parson who announced that he -was “dog-tired of the modern type .of woman, with her lipstick and her camouflage.” “I was recently in Bond Street,” he said, “when I saw a seemingly young person with the edge of her skirt where her garters ought to be. When I got alongside I nearly had a seizure. She was more like 57 than 17.” Passing by the curiosity of a parson who reveals such a surprising knowledge of where garters accurately belong, it must certainly be admitted that it was hard luck for him to have earned such a disappointment after his sprint. THE WAIT IN VAIX “■Why didn’t you read the notice?” was all the sympathy extended later to scores of people who stood in the cold yesterday evening waiting for Grey Lynn tramcars to pass up Queen Street. Some of them, frozen stiff, might still have been clutching a verandah post if a rumour had not circulated that there was “something up” at the foot of the street. The discovery led to language that certainly had a beneficial effect on the temperature. Trams and buses for Grey Lynn, Richmond Road and other places had been diverted to other routes, and beyond a notice posted up inside the trams, the public had received no intimation of the change. And who ever reads a notice inside a tram? Like the poor, it is always with us. The citizen who is lucky enough to get a seat in a tram reads his newspaper ,and that is where the “notice” should have appeared. HALL CAINE, C.H. In a recent “T.P.’s Weekly” there is an article on the reading of difficult manuscript. This proved of particular interest to the Look-Out Man, whose ears are assailed with frightful violence by linotype operators and proofreaders whenever his fingers forsake the typewriter for the pen. It revealed that there was at least one worse caligraphist in the world—Sir Hall Caine—a speciment of whose manuscript is reproduced. It is in the tiniest and most illegible handwriting. The printed transcript begins; "When I was on the Upper Nile twenty years ago, I saw a good deal of the notorious Charles Newfeld.” The manuscript looks like: “Tin he wish in Upti Nick seems tinty you sago, Isu a god dad if to itnotis Club Nenpelo.” The article is by Rose De Bear, who should be able to earn a large Income winning cross-word puzzle competitions if she gave up typing the famous author’s manuscript. She adds to her name above the article, “Secretary to Sir Hall Caine, C.H.” “C.H.” was “a new one” on the Look-Out Man, so he asked one of the linotype operators what the initials stood for. The lino man took one glance at the manuscript and gave the answer pat; “Chamber of Horrors,” he said. Reference to “Whtfs Who,” however, showed that C.H. was the abbreviation of one of the newer honours, “Companion of Honour.” N

THE DIFFERENCE Inspector Cameron informs the public that there is not the slightest cause for alarm concerning the burglaries in Christchurch, as they are of the kind that happen practically every week. “Practically every week!” Phew! And Mr. Mcllveney says never a word! When a few minor burglaries were perpetrated in Auckland the voice of the Commissioner thundered throughout New Zealand, and he despatched hot-haste three "crack” detectives to help “clean up” this crime-ridden, thief-infested” (e£c.) city. But there is a great consolation for Aucklanders in learning that burglaries are the accepted thing in Christchurch. It goes to show that Auckland must be comparatively snow-white when a mild epidemic nf minor breaking and entering causes Mr. Mcllveney to fulminate. The outburst of the Commissioner can now be understood. He wished.to preserve the purity of Auckland by washing out the faintest stain as soon as i.t appeared, in order that this city might not a:tain the criminal eminence of Christchurch.