Some Suggestions

Sun (Auckland), Volume 1, Issue 64, 7 June 1927, Page 10

Some Suggestions

What the Auto-ist ‘Auto” Wear

The instruction this week was to wrjte something on “What the Welldressed Motorist Ought to Wear.” Just why they picked on me I do not know, but we have these things thrust upon us. Some men are born that way, others read “Vanity Fair,” and theatre programmes. I had the title

of “fashion expert” thrust upon me. I’m the thrustee, and I’m not usually that way. What’s more I know just about as much about what the motorist ought to wear, as the Ford salesman knows about performing a tonsillectomy. However, one has to keep in right, so here goes. Having noticed some fashion notes on the matter, in the women’s page, ;ind seeing a seemingly easy way of shelving the responsibility, I waited on the Lady Editress, and commenced: “What does a well-dressed man wear . . . QUITE FUTILE The Lady Editress was busy, and looked as if the plumbing was out of order. That was as far as I got. She looked me up and down in a questioning way, and I took advantage of an interruption and left. I was so crushed that I felt I had to take something for it, so I went to a place, and there communed on sartorial matters with the fellow who did the serving. By-and-by we evolved a very comprehensive programme. Here it is, and make the most of it: In the first place, there are two kinds of motorists—just Average Motorists, and Well-dressed Motorists. The Average Motorist will wear: 1. Clothes. 2. A worried look. 3. Poorly. The Well-dressed Motorist will wear: 1. The proper thing. 2. A satisfied look. 3. Very well. And now to some definite hints. In the first place it is well to provide oneself with a set of ear-muffs. This is not a reflection on the Auckland climate, but is merely a protective measure. No matter how carefully one drives one is liable to bump occasionally into some other car. And it might just be one’s luck to bump Into a car driven by a modern flapper. In this case just quickly attach the ear-muffs, and do not remove them again until the flapper’s mouth has r*isj>ed Houndiv# off. or until there is * mt'!« or two between the two cars Again. Incidentally, the subject of flappers brings up another point. The attire of the gentleman motorist depends largely on whether he is riding in the flapper’s car or not. If "he is, and the ride is likely to last until after dirk. It is advisable to include a good sturdy pair of roller skates in his outfit. CHANGING THE SUBJECT Getting down to the subject of pants —which is of course changing the subject altogether—it is surprising just what a difference just a few pants make. No well-dressed motorist thinks of wearing long pants now. The proper thing is golf pants—

made out of a piece of cloth that looks like an agravated case of delirium tremens. This saves wear on the battery. One does not need to sound the horn at all—just stick out a leg. The socks should be in keeping with the general idea. If they resemble a cross between a chess board and an airplane picture of the Marne region, they’re quite au fait, whatever that is. The server suggested it. SOMETHING LIKE A GOLFER Now you begin to get the idea. The proper motorist will look something like a golf player, only more so. This just bears out the modern masculine sartorial dictum —that is, that the less one has to do with golf, thejnore one should dress for golf. Care must be taken in the choice of extras for certain trips. If you contemplate using certain roads, before starting drop into the corner druggist’s, and get one of those rubber air cushions. Inflate it, and put it in the proper place in your golf pants. This will greatly decrease the vertical motion with traversing the bumpy roads, and may even give a chance to see the scenery. As a general rule follow this advice: Wear some underwear, socks, shoes, pants, shirt, collar and tie, and if inclined, a coat. To wear anything less than this would not be considered proper form, in usual circumstances. Unusual circumstances will not be discussed here. If you intend taking on the North Auckland roads, with or without chains, one other article of attire might be taken along, for use in case of necessity That’s a Shroud.