A PENNY FOR MANNERS

Sun (Auckland), Volume 1, Issue 43, 13 May 1927, Page 5

A PENNY FOR MANNERS

By MRS. A. HARGRAVE A few generations back when even people of what we should now consider very inadequate means kept a nursery going for their children, the earliest stages in “manners” were attended to much more strictly than now, although the children were largely in the hands of a nurse. From the time they could sit up ir» their high chairs the youngsters were carefully instructed how to sit, eat, drink; how to answer when spoken to, and when to keep quiet. Of course this was done by one who was not distracted meanwhile by other calls on her attention. It was her sole duty, and loyally she stuck to it! The fear of being-publicly branded as something less than a little “lady” or “gentleman” was constantly dangled before the unruly. The titbits from the table, and the best treats, went to the best behaved. It was found unprofitable to be careless or awkward or impudent. CREATING A STANDARD “Look how sweetly Miss Angela behaves!” or, “Now, Master Hubert, there’s a perfect little gentleman for you, I say !” Bitterly as the nursery folk might hate Miss Angela or Master Hubert their flawless example had its due effect. They formed a standard. There is more than immediately jumps to the eye in having a definite standard! Even when there was only one maid to help an over-burdened mother children were brought up to a pattern in behaviour suited to their years Apeing their elders was firmly discouraged. The children of the humbler classes, with their bob and curtsey, enforced by the constant injunction to ‘‘mind their manners,” were just as carefully schooled. Nothing was left to chance in such matters. The result of all this was men and women well disciplined in courtesy. To this day the terms “a gentleman of the old school,” an “old-fashioned lady,” brings visions of something dignified and graceful to the memory. TO-DAY’S SLACKNESS That being so, why do we not revive a stricter, more precise code of teaching for our children? That “extra penny for manners,” why don’t we pay it? Children are rarely born polite. If politeness is to be encouraged it must not be vaguely. Children need signposts, lots of them, along what is to them a difficult high road to perfection. Example is necessary, but it isn’t enough when the feet are very uncertain and young, and the mind is still unformed and easily bewildered. How can we pretend that manner* do not matter? “Manners maketh the man,” is an ancient truism to which we need add only the words “and woman.”

How often are good manners based on sacrifice —doing something no one wants to do particularly; consideration for others, kindness, good cheer and good fellowship. The considerate person in the house will be considerate in business; good citizenship is all part of the same thing.

Manners are the hall-mark of character. Did anyone ever hear of a well-beloved child, a highly-esteemed adult, or a respected nation with bad manners ?