QUIPS AND QUERIES

Sun (Auckland), Volume 1, Issue 4, 26 March 1927, Page 23 (Supplement)

QUIPS AND QUERIES

SIMPLE Visitor: Now. i want to catch the seven o’clock train in the morning. Will you please waken me? Maid: That’s all right, sir. Here’s the alarm clock. I’ve set it for --ix. If it doesn’t wake you, just touch this little hammer with your finger, and off it will go. A QUICK RETORT. Bobby was cracking nuts by the fire, when daddy said: Tell me, son, where do nuts grow? “On trees,” replied Bobby. A teasing expression came over daddy’s face. “And what about doughnuts? What tree do they grow on ?” “The pan-tree” (pantry), said Bobby sharply. THREE RIDDLES. When is butter like Irish children?— When it is made into little pats. What is most like a cat looking out of a window?—A cat looking in :*t a window. If a fender and fire irons cost £3. what will a ton of coal come to?—To ashes. LOST AND FOUND. An absent-minded man dined with a friend one night, and the next day he wrote this note: “I left my pocketknife at your house last night, so if you find it please send it back to me. P.S.—Do not trouble to send the kn<fe, because 1 have just found it.” THE OPTIMIST. Master (in the village school): Now, boys, what is an optimist? Young Rustic: Please, sir, a man who makes glass eyes.