GLEANINGS FROM THE PAPERS.

Samoa Times and South Sea Gazette, Volume 3, Issue 105, 4 October 1879, Page 3

GLEANINGS FROM THE PAPERS.

Tell me, ye angolio hosts, messengers of love, shall swindled printers here be- ■ low have no redress above ? The shining angel band replied, " To us is knowledge given,' delinquents on the printer's books can never enter heaven." ' A physician finding a lady reading " Twelfth Night,,' said, " When Shakespeare wrote about Patience on a monument, did he mean doctor's patients ?" .V No," she answered j " you don't find them on monuments, bub under thum." '. The Louisville " Courier-Journal" says, if tbo : peoplo about Niagra falls don't wan't to find them missing one. of these days they- had better be careful how they sutler the Princes* Louiso to hang about loose. The', other day, whan she first looked on tho falls, she threw her head back in ocstacy, and exclaimed, " Don't apeak; lot me drink in tho soono," .. •An exchange declared that a man who. will read a newspaper throe or four years. 'without payjng for it will pasture a goat J&fta#»kp?hi> father.

A gentleman in full dress, including white gloves, rushed into an apothecary's shop. He was-going to be married, and wished, all things, that his mother-in-law, whom he already hated by anticipation, should not be at the wedding. " Could , you prepare me immediately," said he to the apothecary, " a strong dose of- castor- ] oil in such a manner "as it may be taken without the least suspicion of its being a medicine by smell or state?" "I am your man," answered the apothecary, " and no chemist in Paris better knows how to prepare the dose in the manner you require it." Five minutes after he appeared, holding in his hand a glass half full of a liquid most agreeable to the eye, saying with a smile, " I hope, monsieur, I am not delaying you too long, but while you are waiting for the medicine perhaps you will allow me to offer you a glass of lemonade." The young man accepted • the kindness, and found the lemonade excellent and refreshing. But after watting ten minutes more, he called out to the apothecary, who was in the inner compounding room, " I say, what about the castor-oil ?" " Monsieur," answered the man of blue bottles, " 1 am happy to inform you I have already gratified your wishes. I have disguised the medicine so well that you have taken it without suspicion, at the draught you swallowed just now." "Ah ! wretch that you are I cried the poor gentleman in the white gloves, "it was for my mother-in-law I wanted the dose; lam going myself to bo married in one hour!"

The " Sydney Horning Horald " writes: —Prince Leopold's speech on national education at the Mansion-house shows him to have inherited a very fair share of his distinguished father's power of thought and aptitude for literary culture. " His panegyric on Professor Ruskin," says a contemporary, and especially oh his teaching," that the greatness of a nation must be measured, not by her wealth or her apparent power, hut by the degree in which all her people have learned to gather from the world of books, of art, of nature, a pure and ennobling joy ;" his fine and true remark that in providing teachers who though so far wasted that they know a great deal more than thev will, for a long, time to come, have any chance of teaching, we shall yet he great gainers, because " what they do teach will be better taught for the reserve of knowledge behind—the methods will be sounder, the personal influence of the lecturer will be inore stimulating to his class;" and lastly,, his admirable appreciation both of the difficulty of getting up local enthusiasm in so huge a capital as London; and nevertheless of the power and pride inherent in the Londoner's sense that he is the citizen of " no mean city " —all showed Prince Leopold to be capable of genuine efforts of oratory; such as would place him high even among the public speakers of today. Those who look to current political transactions merely, frequently fail to recognise how important factors the Crown and the Royal Family are are our national lives. The vitality and unity of the nation is secured by and bound up by sentiments warmer and more enthusiastic is a matter for national congratulation. This the appearance on the scene of a Prince eloquent, philanthropic, and cultivated, can hardly fail to do. Already a portion of the English press, which discerns the qualities of Prince Leopold, is speculating to what account Lord Beaconsfield—bent as he ever is on cementing the ties between " the mouarch and the multitude " —will turn the talents of the highly placed young statesman; A Royal daughter has been sent to Canada; could a better sphere be found for a Royal son than Australia? The health of Prince Leo-' pold is said to be delicate, and in that case a sojourn in the mild climate of Australia would be a physical benefit and enjoyment.

In six months, ending June 30th last, there were 366 failures in New York, with aggregate liabilities of 311,582,050', and assets valued at $5,990,336, against 514 failuroß in the sauie period of 1878, when the liabilities were 539,090,793, and the assets valued at $11,012,662 Thirty-eight failures were reported for July that aggregate 51,933;177 and n«ets $735,003. . ...

A Woodward avenue druggist some time ago put up a prescription brought by a boy, and as he handed over the bottle the boy asked Did you put any sugar in t?" ."I don't think. I did," was the reply. " Well, then, I don't believe ma'll touch a drop of it. I got some medicine here 'tother day and ,pa couldn't even hire her to take it, 'cause it wasn't sweet. She's purty sick but Bhe'B down on medioine." " Well,, bow does your father manage ?" "He don't manage at all. He tries.to hire mother, but you see she's to young to want .speotacles or a snuff-box, and there, we wo, you see. If them onion drughts, .on, her feet don't do any good I'll bet. I'll havo e etep-mother 'fore fall."—Detroit. Free Press. ■

A man the employ of Mr W.'Sqraors, Tf'anganui, on tho 16th July, picked up a Worcester sauce bottle on tho boaoh. On opening it he discovered a smajlsoroip of blue paper with the words written, " Strathnaver on fire off Polly Beach, 20th April, 1876. Heavy'tea running. W. Waller, chief ofßcer. 'On' chanoe/' It will bo remembered 'that, the Jjtrathnaver left Sydney about the' date, mour turned, . arid waa never heard df. Tho paper appears to bo a' gonuino production, , ,\' .... ~

: The " Cologne Gazette " gives the following account of one of the latest acts of violence perpetrated by the Nihilists. A short time ago, say the German paper, a uierohant, Pavel Fufajeff by name, living at No. 15 ou the Lejtukoff-Peren-look, recoived a notice signed by the, "revolutionary committee," in which a I subscription of 40,000 roubles, " for the use of the secret national Government," was demanded from him, the sum to be deposited by him at a certain place indicated, by the second May at the latest, under penalty of death in case of default. Up to the 2nd of May Fufajeff remained undecided whether to pay the money or hand over the anonymous letter to the police. At ten o'clock ou the forenoon of the second, he went out, and then for the first time determined to appeal to the police for advice and assistance. Hardly, however, had ho arrived in the neighborhood of the nearest police station when he received a violent blow on the head with an bar, which struck him senseless to the ground. The assassin immediately disappeared, taking the 40,000 roubles which Fufajeff had in his pocket, and has not since been heard of. The unfortunate merchant, it is added, still remains in critical position, The " New York Herald," referring to the Constitution recently adopted by State of California, says:—The influenco of this decision on the future of the State cannot fail to be highly important, because it changes the conditions which have controlled the relations of capital and labor in California, since the admission of that prolific territory as a State of the Union. Two leading features of the new Constitution deserve special notice, namely, the provisions relating to taxation and the Chinese question. Under the general head of " property," every interest in the State representing capital, in any form, comes under the shadow of the tax-gatherer. The working man who deposits his savings in a bank becomes at once a capitalist in the eye of the law, and must pay thereon his quota to the general revenue. The effect of this ou the stability of the sayings banks will be ruinous, inasmuch as it must cause the withdrawal of deposits, which are the solid parts of the institutions. If the funds are so withdrawn all interests hanging on these banks must suffer, and a shock will be given to business that will react on the party responsible for this radical measure The Chinese are by the new.Constitution excluded, froni employment. If they do not go, they -can stay and starve. California says this by from 8000 to 10,000 majority. Now the world will see how the Communistic idea works in practise. A minister in the North , was taking to task one of his" lieaiefs who was a frequent absentee and- the accused defendtid"hihi6bif on "the pica of a j dislike to, longer 'sermons. •• " Deed man/' said his reverend monitor, a little nettled at the'insinuation, '.' if ye dinna mend, ye may land yerself where ye' Una be troubled wi' many sermons, either long or short." " AVeel, aihlins (perhaps) sae," retorted John," but it may he na for want o' ministers."

That versatile gentleman, ilr. Charles Reade, has now turned his attention from left-handednoss to balloonning, and writes as follows to the Telegraph, concerning the use of the vessels in war: — It is not necessary to be outwitted by Zulus. People that go to war should immediately rub up their wits. If thoy have to encounter savages superior in uuuibers und. knowledge of the ground, aud armed no longer with stone arrows and bone spears, but guns and rifles, the very first question they should ask themselves is this: Does all our superior science furnish us no engine of war to turn the scales' Now we do possess an engine of modern warfare that ought to have been in that unlucky camp, since no German nor French army would have invaded oven a strange aud wooded country without it—l mean a balloon "a la corde." Avery small one would have raised.a man 1000 feet, and shown him in a moment' tho shallow secret of Zulu strategy. Lateral ambuscades would be visible to a scout looking down vertically with powerful binocular, aud sweeping thirty miles at a glance. The nation, therefore, will f• '1 ooliged to the War Office if it will send out, not groat many more soldiers,., more ammunition, more balloons, more gasometers, more binoculars, and —more brains. Paris, for her amusement, raised twenty-five people in a balloon 1400 ft. several times every day. Cannot England raise one drummer boy, or one gallant little officer —" Ingentes animos angusto pectore versana " —l2ooft. to protect her chivalry from Billy slaughter ? No doubt it is much harder to generate gas in a camp than a city; but it has been done in camp, and therefore it oan be) done again, and ought to bo dene, through a jury of inventors should have'be convoked. When civilised nations meet, in buttle, glory may ho gained though life is lost; but thoso who send our heroes- to fight with savages should attack dofensively, and cudgel their brains a hit, grudging so base an enomy the .life of, a single British Boldior and tho oars of thoso who mourn, him. A remarkable case of equine affection haa happened at Inglewood. A'.Chinaman waa buried' tho.other day, 'and his horse wm found in the cemetery a day or two afterwards, endeavouring to paw the earth off. the grave. . Tho animal was driven away, but he is continually roaming near, the cemetery, trying to get in again. ■•